


Glass Houses

by fairyplumprincess



Category: Not Safe For Fanders - Fandom, Not Safe For Sanders - Fandom, Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Abusive Deceit Sanders, Abusive Relationships, Angst, Angst and Drama, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has Panic Attacks, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Dark Side, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders-centric, Anxious Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Artist!Remus Sanders, Caring Logic | Logan Sanders, Chaotic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Twins, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Angst, Dark Past, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Deceit Sanders Has a Different Name, Deceit's Name is Orpheus, Eventual Smut, Family, Fluff and Smut, Former Dark Side Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Hurt Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Hurt Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Mind Control, M/M, Mind Control, Mind Manipulation, Mind Rape, Mind/Mood Altering Substances, Multi, NSFW, NSFW will be marked, Name-Calling, On Hiatus, Polyamory, Presumed Dead, Protective Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Protective Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Protective Morality | Patton Sanders, Shameless Smut, Supernatural Elements, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Threesome - M/M/M, Trauma, Triggers, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, Unknown powers, Unsympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Unsympathetic Deceit Sanders, thank you for your patience even though it took me like a decade to put the hiatus tag on my works, trigger warning friendly, vent fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:21:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 25,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22369387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairyplumprincess/pseuds/fairyplumprincess
Summary: “Glass houses, Virgil. It takes a liar to know a liar.”Virgil wishes he could say he didn’t know why Deceit’s words made him nauseous - but he did.How could Virgil pretend he was any better than the deceiver who haunted his dreams, causing panic attack after panic attack when he had lied too? He never meant to lie, but the past is the past.How could Virgil pretend still wasn't the dark side he had fought so hard to grow from?He had spent so much time in the light that he forgot that his shadow always follows.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders, LAMP - Relationship, Polysanders, calm - Relationship
Comments: 43
Kudos: 216





	1. Us, Not Them

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work, but please feel free to be constructive! I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!  
> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> Abusive relationship  
> Manipulation  
> Partial nudity/nudity  
> Repression  
> Scarring

Virgil woke up naked, same way he had every morning for god knows how long, in Orpheus’s bed. Could he even call it Orpheus’s bed? All three dark sides had shared it, though he supposed that since it was technically Orpheus’s room, it was Orpheus’s bed.

_ Everything belongs to Orpheus here, _ Virgil thought to himself.  _ Nothing is yours. _

Virgil was pulled from his thoughts when he heard a shuffle behind him on the bed and felt a hand caressing his hip. Virgil turned around to look at the owner of the hand, Remus, who was still heavy asleep and clearly not consciously aware of his actions.

“Babe,” Virgil whispered sweetly, reaching his hand over to cusp Remus’s face, “We need to wake up.”

Virgil stared at the calm expression on Remus’s face. It wasn’t often he was like this. Remus was always one for the loud and chaotic, but Virgil was beginning to suspect it was all an act. In moments where Orpheus was ignoring him for taking things too far or for simply being “too annoying,” disappearing to god knows where, Remus was calm again. He was quiet and soft, taking his more gruesome and disgusting thoughts to his typewriter or to his easel. Virgil only got to see this Remus when Orpheus wasn’t around.

Not that Virgil didn’t want to be near Orpheus, he  **loved** Orpheus  ~~_ (right?) _ ~~ but seeing Remus in the soft morning sunshine, with a gentle smile, his thumb innocently in his mouth, and curly ringlets framing his face, ~~made him wish that maybe Orpheus would stay away a little bit longer~~ made his heart flutter.

In his trance of appreciating Remus, Virgil swore that he blinked and suddenly the embodiment of intrusive thoughts disappeared in front of him. Virgil quickly snapped his head to look around the room, seeing the other Dark Side in black sweatpants and a green cropped jersey, holding out clothes towards Virgil.

“What were you thinking about, Doomsday?” Remus offered a light chuckle, a sweet contrast to the deep sleepiness in his voice, pushing the clothes into Virgil’s hands. “Get dressed, we don’t want to keep Orpheus waiting for breakfast. I don’t know when he got into the shower, but I’ll start getting everything ready while you get dressed.”

Remus quickly pecked Virgil on the lips before running out the room. Virgil could hear the creative side’s footsteps on the stairs and the tussle in the kitchen as Remus grabbed all the supplies. Virgil smiled to himself as he pulled up the black sweatpants over his legs as he imagined Remus climbing on top of the counter to reach to waffle maker. Virgil began to make his way out of the room with his arms in the air, still putting on his wife beater, when he felt rough, scaled hands grab his waist.

“Now, where is my little storm cloud running off to in such a hurry?” Orpheus’s voice was silky, momentarily convincing Virgil that he wasn’t doing something wrong. He almost believed it too, but the difference between being alone with Remus and being alone with Orpheus were two very different experiences. Virgil racked his mind for what he was doing wrong as he pulled the shirt over his torso, but he couldn’t figure out what.  _ Maybe,  _ Virgil innocently thought,  _ I am safe. If I’m doing nothing wrong, why should I be scared? My lover would never hurt me for no reason. ~~Right?~~ _

“Remus and I are heading downstairs to make you breakfast, my love. Remus started while I put on clothes. Would you like to come downstairs or would you want us to bring it up to you in bed?” Virgil felt excited.  _ Good boys don’t get hit. Savor these moments to remember when you’re not good. _

“You say Remus went down as you got dressed, but yet…” Orpheus paused, slowly adding pressure to the hands on Virgil’s waist. “You walked out without a shirt on. Interesting how that works.”  _ Oh. OH!  _

“What if a neighbor had seen you? Showing yourself off like a whore?” Orpheus’s voice slowly built from sweet to angry, and Virgil felt the pressure build up in his chest.  _ No, no, no, no. Now is not the time to freak out. That’ll only make it worse.  _ **_~~It’s never going to get better.~~ _ ** _ If I freak out, I may hit Orpheus by accident; then he’ll get more mad and he’ll hurt me even more and he may hurt Remus over my mistake ~~.~~ _ **_~~A lover isn’t supposed to hurt you. Remus has never hurt you.~~ _ ** _ Just breathe, he’ll never know.  _ ~~**_He knows. Orpheus likes seeing you hurting. He likes seeing you scared._ ** ~~ _ Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. You need to respond. _

“I didn’t want to keep Remus waiting or leave him to do all of the preparation work by himself. It would be unfair to you two.” Virgil answered as smoothly as he could. It was the truth. Why was he scared?

“I think,” Orpheus started, turning Virgil around to face a mirror that was used as hallway decor, “you like disrespecting me. You know I can smell your lies.” Virgil was frozen in fear. He didn’t lie, he didn’t! He learned his lesson last time he tried, with the burn scars on his torso that Orpheus was ever-so-harshly agitating at the current moment.  _ Orpheus would never lie in order to hurt me, only to help me. Why would he lie about whether or not  _ **_I_ ** _ told the truth? _

“I don’t remember having a lying whore as a boyfriend, but clearly, I am mistaken.” Orpheus finally released his hands from Virgil’s waist, which made the trembling side sigh in appreciation. His mind doesn’t allow his serenity to last long, immediately clenches his eyes and preparing himself for some sort of physical hit to go with his mental one.

It doesn’t arrive.

Virgil slowly relaxes and opens his eyes to look at Orpheus, who holds an amused grin on his face.

“I’ll be in the room, but don’t assume I’ll let such defiance slide after  _ everything  _ I’ve done, and will continue to do for a brat like yourself. You should go help Remus in the time being.” Orpheus says dryly, amusement on his face fading to match his tone. Virgil nods and tries to quickly run downstairs, but his wrist is immediately caught; making Virgil turn around.

“And what do grateful boys say?” Orpheus’s snake eye glows bright yellow, an expectant look on his face.

“Thank you, sir. I promise to make it up to you and will be better.” Virgil feels his chest tighten at the words. _I love Orpheus._ __This_ is the least that he deserves. Orpheus loves me. ~~Right?~~ _

“Good boy. Now run along.” Virgil gives a quick nod and smile before dashing down the stairs, Orpheus watching as he disappears from eye line. Orpheus turns towards the window down the hall, looking towards the light sides. He sees  _ Cinderella _ and the main sides through it. Smiling, laughing, cuddling. They’re all equals in their relationship. It disgusts Orpheus to his core.

Sure, all of the sides are technically equal in power - all but one. He knows that one day, Virgil and Remus will learn his function, deception, and he can’t trust that Virgil will take it well. Remus will bend to his will, Orpheus will be able to convince him to stay with the “right side” instead of moving onto the light,  where his brother will diminish his existence . Yes, that excuse will suffice. Remus will fall further into his own madness before he develops any sort of stability that may convince him to leave. The problem was Virgil.

Virgil could grow and morph and amplify. Virgil may overreact to the news if he’s not kept on a leash, physical or otherwise. Virgil is anxiety, lies only worsen him. An upset Virgil is more powerful than he realizes - the poor shadow ling didn’t even notice in grey smoke escaping his fingertips and tear ducts as he was convincing himself to breathe. Orpheus knows that he must mentally cage Virgil before he finds out what Virgil can do with that smoke, before Virgil can find out if he can do more. He needs to keep Virgil small and weak ~~for himself~~ for Thomas.

Orpheus mind wanders to a part of his mind he’s yet to indulge in, wondering how he could take some, if not all, of that power that he sees in Virgil and take it for his own purposes. It’s not as if the emo nightmare is actually able to handle all of that responsibility, he gets so anxious answering simple questions. ~~A weakness of Orpheus's design.~~

Orpheus is pulls from his thoughts when he hears two sets of footsteps carefully coming up the stairs. He quickly taps himself into his bed, feeling a hard spot on the bed - dried substance from the night before. He manifests Immanuel Kant’s  Critique Of Pure Reason into his hands, opening to a random page to appear as though he was reading. Virgil and Remus stepped into the room, delicate smiles on their faces as Virgil holds the lap tray in his hands and Remus holds white wine and a glass in his. Orpheus looks up from his book, feigning as though he’d been pulled from intense focus.

“So, did neither of you think to change the sheets after I had told you last night?” Their smiles falter. Orpheus can’t help but feel the pride course through his veins.


	2. Grounded Like Earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus tries to prove his worth to Orpheus, but Virgil messes it up. What a shame. The poor shadowling thought he did everything right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's only been a day, but we already have over 100 hits! I'm so appreciative of you guys <3  
> This chapter does get pretty tough to read for some, but next chapter will be much, much worse. Please be safe and heed all trigger warnings, and please let me know if I forgot any! Reading should be safe, but I hope you all enjoy the story!  
> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> Sex  
> Nudity  
> Emotional abuse  
> Emotional manipulation  
> Implication of rape  
> Beatings  
> Overstimulation  
> Blood  
> Sharp objects (olfa and needles)  
> Abuse of the mentally ill  
> Unhealthy power dynamics  
> Marking / Scarring  
> (Mild) Description of a panic attack  
> Self hatred / Self deprecating thoughts  
> Name-calling

The Remus that Virgil sees right now is ~~absolutely disgusting~~ ~~pathetic~~ disturbing. Orpheus is mad at Remus for god knows what, and Remus is doing everything he can to make him smile.

It started small, normal even. Remus made an elaborate lunch, made Orpheus’s favorite cocktail, gave him a massage while he put on the movie _Masters Of Disguise._ But Orpheus was clearly annoyed, giving more of his attention to Virgil - who was sewing and embroidering. It was something Orpheus taught him how to do to keep his hands busy and not start to wonder too many questions.

This only enraged Remus, turning as green as his nail polish, but he needed Orpheus to see how good he could treat him first, before he could do anything to Virgil. He needed to go _drastic._

Remus then moved onto more sexual offerings. Virgil watched as Remus went from delicately working his fingers in all the spots behind Orpheus’s neck to moving down his sides, eagerly pulling at Orpheus’s waistband. Orpheus paid him no mind.

Virgil accidentally shoved a needle through his finger went Remus swung himself around Orpheus into some sexually inviting position. Virgil noticed the flicker of excitement in Remus’s and Orpheus’s eyes went they heard him exclaim in pain. He couldn’t tell which his lovers were more interested in: the gore or the pain.

Remus had soon gone from lewd displays to oral cockwarming to now, cutting Orpheus’s name across his chest while never breaking eye contact in his kneeling position in front of Orpheus. Remus is crying ~~he doesn’t want this~~ but Orpheus is finally smiling at him ~~it doesn’t matter how he gets it, he needs this. He needs Orpheus to love him~~.

Virgil held in his gag at the sheer amount of blood that was dripping down Remus’s bare chest, spilling onto the towel he had summoned to make sure a drop didn’t land on the carpet. Remus could only imagine all of his efforts falling on blind eyes and Orpheus yelling at him for being _too much ~~all the time~~ _.

Remus finished up the “s”, nicking the side of his left nipple with the olfa he used to carve the jagged letters, before placing it down on the towel. Orpheus reached forward, cusping the back of Remus’s neck, and pulling the green-clad artist into a rough kiss.

“Absolutely disgusting, and the letters are childishly written.” Virgil stared with wide eyes as he hears Remus whimper _~~it didn’t work, I’m not good enough, it’s not enough, it’s never enough, when will I be enough~~ , I love you, Orpheus, _Remus thinks, _love me back,_ ~~_**please** _ ~~ _._

“But I will take your obnoxious display with a grain of salt. You worked very hard to show your appreciation to me.” Remus softens, leaning into Orpheus’s hand as if it was his life source, the compliment warming his skin more than the blood had.

“Beg.” Orpheus’s demand was crisp and unbothered. Remus turned into a bumbling mess of pleas and cries for his lover, so eager to please and prove his worth ~~if he doesn’t, Remus fears Orpheus will abandon him like Roman did.~~

“I’ll start a warm bath for you two.” Virgil said, grabbing his needlework. Orpheus only gave him a dismissing hand. Virgil nodded solemnly before going upstairs to the bathroom.

 _I would never do that for Orpheus_ , Virgil lets his mind wander as he grabs the bath salts, the oil, and the flowers. _Is that an issue on my part? Do I not love him enough? Is that why he loves Remus more?_

Virgil reaches to cover the drain. _I’m not creative. I’m not smart. I’m not the hero. I don’t have anything about myself besides Remus and Orpheus._

He turns on the water, hottest setting - just how his lovers preferred it. _I’m worthless._

Virgil stops the water and he can suddenly hear the wonton moans and screams and a distant thud. He walks out of the bathroom to get candles and a lighter. _I’ll be worth something if I can make these little things special. I can be good for this. I will be good for them._

Everything is ready for his loves. Virgil feels a sense of pride as he smells the cinnamon and clove in the air. He can’t help the excited nervousness as he hears two pairs of feet come up the stairs as he kneels over the water, checking to make sure it’s the right temperature. He cringes when he hears a comment from Orpheus about Remus’s weight, muffled but clear in its intent. He can hear Remus’s soft “I’m sorry, I’ll be better. I’ll be perfect.” before the door opens.

Virgil stands up excitedly, ready to see relaxation on his boyfriends’ faces. He did everything right. Or, so he thought.

What Virgil sees instead is a blank-faced Remus and a disgusted Orpheus. Orpheus gags and covers his mouth, which turns Remus from apathetic to concerned. Virgil runs over and reaches out to Orpheus, desperate to find out what he did wrong. Orpheus smacks Virgil’s hands away and retches, the horrid sound turning the ball of excited nervousness heavier as it phased into fearful anxiousness.

“God, I ask you one thing - and you can’t even do that without messing it up!” Orpheus’s voice is hoarse as he sits on the floor, Remus immediately kneeling next to him and trying to straighten his boyfriend’s back.

“Where did I go wrong? I thought I did everything right!” Virgil’s panic is multiplying tenfold. He trembles as he tries to get closer, and he trembled as he stumbles backwards when Remus shoots his a nasty glare. _You ruined everything I did today,_ Remus thinks, ~~_you ruin_ **_everything_ ** _._ ~~

“I thought you were smart and could handle a little responsibility,” Orpheus’ breathing is jagged, but much calmer now - unlike the way he speaks his words “but _no_ , you’re too stupid and dependent for even something as small as a bath. You’re so _useless,_ Virgil. Do you not love Remus? Do you not love _me_?”

Virgil’s vision is blurry as he dropped to his knees. “No, no, no! I _do_ love you! I love the both of you _so much_ ! I thought I did everything right! What’s wrong?” Virgil’s questions sound more like pleas, tears hot and falling freely. ~~ _You can’t do anything without messing it up, Virgil. You had one responsibility. You ruined everything. You hurt Orpheus. You're such a child. You hurt Remus. Stupid. Dependent. Unworthy. Wasteful. Useless. Loveless._~~ ~~_**Worthless** . _ ~~

Orpheus seems better, but he stays on the ground. “Remus,” he barks, making the artist perk up obediently, “lock him up so he can think about what he’s done.”

Virgil feels himself being dragged by his elbow, and he instinctively fights back. _Remus, please don’t hurt me. Not you too. I’m sorry. I love you. I love you, please, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to mess up, I’m so sorry. I know I ruined everything, I ruined everything for you, but please, please. Remus, **please**. _

Virgil feels a punch. And then a second. And then a third. And then he’s suddenly being pummeled as Remus takes his anger out. His ears are ringing, but he swears he can hear Orpheus instigating for more.

“Yes, take it out on him. You gave me everything today, and he reduced it to **nothing** . You spent hours working yourself up, proving your worth to me. Virgil _ruined_ that for you.” The punches become more erratic, Virgil swears, but maybe it’s simply the fact that he is on the floor and Remus is above him and his chest is tightening and it _is_ Orpheus’s voice that’s cheering Remus on to hurt him even more. He doesn’t even remember meeting the floor. He doesn’t remember Remus crawling on top of him. He doesn’t remember where he went wrong. He doesn’t remember how he got into this situation. He doesn’t remember when love began to hurt.

“Yell at him, you crying **brat**. Show him how upset you are that he took away everything you deserved. A night of cuddles and love and attention. Being someone who matters. Being someone who matters to _me_ . So important to you and it clearly means nothing to him!” Remus lets out a screech as he grabbed Virgil’s hair and slammed his head into the ground once. Virgil is begging, pleading, _Remus, please, stop. Remus, I’m sorry. Remus, I love you. Remus. Remus. Remus. Remus. Remus._ Virgil can't even tell if he's even getting the words out, but he's scared of what the answer may be.

The pressure doesn’t let up in Virgil’s skull, but the punches have stopped and Remus is no longer on top of him. Virgil feels himself being dragged again. He doesn’t fight back. Virgil is so scared, he’s paralyzed. He wants to run. He wants to bring Remus back to his humanity. ~~Back to _his_ Remus.~~ He wants to see the Remus he sees when they’re alone. Soft giggles, not screaming. Genuine smiles, not swollen, chapped lips. Naturally instinctive thumb sucking, not bloody, bejeweled fingers.

Virgil’s body is finally placed onto hardwood flooring, and he feels the edge of a rug. Virgil opens his eyes as wide as he could, and can see the elements of his own room through the red in his vision.

“Now, be a good boy, and get everything you deserve back.” Orpheus coos from the door, admiring Virgil’s helpless position and Remus’s helpless mind. The two boys turn to face him in obedience. Orpheus tosses the olfa to Remus, who catches it. The plan is in order. Virgil still doesn’t realize his powers, and he will be too broken to find any strength to use it. Remus is finally indulge into his last breech before he’s too insane to function without him. _He_ is in control.

“No remorse. Cut him. Make him bleed.” Orpheus willed the clove and cinnamon oil next to Remus, right where Virgil could see it. “Pour the oil onto his cuts to remind him that _snakes hate cinnamon and clove_.”

 ~~_All of_ **_this_ ** _...because of a fucking_ **_smell_ ** ~~ _~~he doesn’t like?~~ I messed up the little things, how could I not be expected to obliterate the big? _ Remus’s face twisted in a manic way, picking up the olfa. Virgil met his eyes, and he simply knew that the soft Remus he once knew had ducked out, ~~and the only thing left was the monster.~~


	3. You'll Be As Broken As Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of the previous chapter, Remus finally snaps into the rat that his snake wants him to be. Virgil tries to remember times soft warm sunlight but he is only faced with a hard, cold blade  
> NSFW - Rape / Non-con

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 200 hits! I'm so appreciative of all the love you've been giving this story over the last three days, and I promise that next chapter will be softer (I'll finally give Virgil a break.......kinda). Please heed all warnings (I'm going to list them into one paragraph instead of a new line for every new trigger because it's a LOT this chapter). Please comment if I missed anything!  
> TRIGGER WARNINGS: Name Calling / Bullying, Mind Control / Mind Rape, (Referenced) Mind / Mood Altering Drugs, Rape / Non-con, (Referenced) Fire / Lynching / Drowning / Disaster, Metal Used Dangerously (olfa & chains, rust is included), Emotional + Physical Abuse, Emotional Manipulation, Misinformation / Twisted Information, Abuse of the Mentally Ill, Unsafe Objects Used As Dildos, Seizure, Hurt No Comfort, Fake Hurt for Comfort, Unhealthy / Abusive Power Dynamics, Self Deprecating Language, Dependency, Bullying, (Referenced) Abandonment, Crying, Blood / Gore / Pain, Death of A State Of Self, Repression, No Aftercare, Suicidal Thoughts.

“Remus, please. Stop. I’m begging you.” Virgil croaked out, trying to slither away from Remus. His head was pounding. He could see Remus in the mirror, but the man behind him was nothing but a stranger.

Remus looked conflicted, his need to continue lashing out his anger and his love for Virgil was at war. Virgil could remember when the forest-loving artist would do anything to protect him, dote on him, make him feel loved. Virgil could remember when his soul began to weigh in on him, the worthlessness settling in, and how Remus was there to help ease the pain.

The only light he saw in Remus now was the flash of yellow glow that flashes out of his orifices. Remus’s face turned onto one true expression: fear. That was before Remus cracked his neck at an ungodly angle and threw his body onto the floor.

Remus screamed out in agony, clutching his chest and keeling into a fetus position. Remus shut his eyes as his limbs betrayed any ounce of control he tried to reign over them. Virgil could only tremble at the sight. Remus’s eyes opened for a second, tears spilling out as his eyes rolled back. Remus’s screeches were only paused by ragged, rough panting and pained grunts. Remus tore his own shirt off, his skin was burning alive. It felt as though he had been dipped in gasoline and tossed into a house fire. His only thought was to rip his clothes off to soothe himself, the cold air hitting his sweat-sheened skin made him moan in pleasure.

Remus’s mind was filled with every gruesome thought he ever had, bubbling to the surface - the victim always being Virgil, now, though. Evisceration, broiling alive, submerging in wax, drowning, choking, popped blood vessels, plane crashes, collapsed architecture, being trapped in a box and then thrown into a dumpster truck, lynching - all of it flooded Remus’s mind until it drowned out his lungs, rendering his screams silent.

_ Virgil brought this on you,  _ Orpheus’s voice cooed in his own skull. It was ethereal, angelic, omniscient.  _ Use him for your art. Who needs a stupid painting? Paint  _ **_him_ ** _ in pain _ .

Remus’s conscience was silent. The lack of rebuttal made him pathetic to Orpheus’s control. No little voice telling him his evil thoughts that he hated were wrong, that they needed to be dealt with in a healthy manner if one day his drugs wouldn’t work. Had Remus thought a little longer about it, he would’ve realized that Orpheus had been refusing to give him his special pills in weeks. Had he thought about it enough, he would’ve realized that Orpheus wanted him to break into insanity.

But none of that was important right now, those thoughts weren’t on Remus’s and Virgil’s minds. Virgil was sobbing over Remus, trying to bring his lover back.  _ Useless, useless, useless, useless.  _ Virgil thought,  _ why don’t you know any first aid? Remus could die right now and it’s because you know  _ **_nothing._ ** _ Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. _

Suddenly the heat disappeared and his mind was empty. The only thing left in Remus was the need to hurt Virgil for putting him through it. Remus’s grey eyes met Virgil’s honey ones, red and puffy from tears and leftover blood from the previous beating.  _ Let’s make it worse,  _ Remus thought.

Remus reached out for Virgil, feigning the need for comfort. Virgil, so willing to have his lover back, threw his arms out and lurched forward. Remus took this moment to roll away and let Virgil smack his face into the box spring of his bed, reopening the wound on his forehead.

Remus began kicking Virgil as his eyes pried the grund for his olfa. Once he spotted it, he fell to his knees next to the sobbing Virgil, and snatched it.

“Shut up! Stop crying. You deserve this. I didn’t!” Remus felt that heat begin to crawl up his throat like vomit. Remus summoned scissors into his hand and started stabbing Virgil’s sides. Virgil cried out and tried to roll away, but the pain and betrayal was far too much.  _ Remus, why are you doing this? Remus, stop, stop, stop! Please! _

Remus made quick cuts to rip off Virgil’s clothes, resorting to tearing them off the pale boy’s body when the impatience settled in. Virgil sobbed harder, reaching for the scraps of fabric. He had spent months making the jeans and hoodie, wanting to stimulate himself by starting from scratch.

“Remus, I’m sorry, but you’re going to far.” Virgil choked out around his sobs, a new layer of pain coursing through him. “Why? Why are you doing this? You have no reason to be like this. I messed up, but this…”

“And what do you know?” Remus smashed the olfa into Virgil’s face, the blade cutting through his cheek and scraping his teeth. “We are  _ nothing  _ without Orpheus. I tried to do something nice and you ruined it for the both of us. You don’t get to make any calls here.”

Remus pulled his hand back and pushed Virgil’s chest flat on the floor. Remus stared at Virgil’s trembling thighs, and then his olfa, and then up into the mirror to meet Orpheus’s eyes. Remus knew he needed permission for what he was about to do next.

“By any means necessary, I give you full control. You have my permission.” Orpheus sounded cold, and Virgil trembled more. “You have a lesson to teach. Good boys can teach others to be good too.”

Orpheus couldn’t pull his eyes away as Virgil began to plead and shout, telling Remus to stop and that he didn’t want this - but Remus had made up his mind; Remus was going to break Virgil until he was as broken as Remus was.

Remus shoved the olfa into the side of Virgil’s anus, allowing the blood to be the only lube he would use. Virgil screamed and tried squirming away, but Remus lifted his hand and conjured chains for the sobbing side.

The chains held Virgil down with their weight, leaving him defenseless as Remus shoved the ruined fabric into Virgil’s mouth to drown out his cries. Remus started growing hungrier for the high of hurting others ~~( _or maybe it was just the high of pleasing Orpheus_ , Remus thought, but it was all one and the same to him)~~, and conjured another heavy, but now rusted, chain. It stung Remus’s hands but he wrapped it around Virgil’s neck like a noose and tightened as far as he could physically muster. Virgil could feel the burn as cuts were formed and irritated around his neck. Virgil tried to scream, he truly did, but his body couldn’t take it anymore and his sobs were silent.

_ If you loved me, if  _ **_either_ ** _ of you loved me, you wouldn’t do this to me. You’d stop. Why are you hurting me? ~~A lover isn’t supposed to hurt me.~~ _

“He’s doing this because he loves you and he’s showing you a lesson. If he didn’t love you, he wouldn’t want you to grow to not make the same mistake over and over again.” Orpheus stated, clearly reading Virgil’s mind. “Your immature, unevolved mind could never understand. Maybe it’s because we love you far more than you love us, but that’s okay. One day, you will finally accept the fact that no one could love such a useless, loveless,  _ worthless _ whore like we do - I hope it’s not too late when you finally come to terms with that.”

Virgil started shaking his head, trying to turn to face Orpheus. Remus let the chain loosen around Virgil’s pale neck to allow it, but watched with distraught eyes as he began fucking into the weak boy - he had no control over his body, he couldn’t stop. His mind was trying to convince him that  _ yes, this is what he wants, this is what he needs. Blood, pain, it’s all him. It’s all for him. It’s why Roman left - but Roman would abandon him either way.  _ **_Be_ ** _ the monster children cry to their parents about.  _ **_Be_ ** _ the demon that wracks minds and brings them to insanity - isn’t that what you are? Isn’t that  _ **_all_ ** _ you are? You crossed the line from insomniac to insane long, long, long ago - stop denying yourself the only thing you’re worth. Don’t let  _ **_Orpheus_ ** _ see you’re worthless ~~like Virgil~~. Don’t give Orpheus a reason to leave. ~~You can’t lose him too.~~ _

Virgil was sobbing.  _ Please don’t say that to me, Orpheus. Don’t  _ **_you_ ** _ say that to me right now. Please. You’re already hurting me, ~~why are you hurting me?~~ you don’t have to do this. I learned my lesson, we don’t have to go any further.  _ His own thoughts were so chaotic that he couldn’t even feel Remus fucking into him; the only indication of such an action was the fact Virgil could see it in the mirror.

“Don’t cry as if this isn’t what you deserve, as if this isn’t what a slut like you wants.” Orpheus manifested in front of Virgil, forcing him to turn his neck straight back to its original position.

Virgil saw Orpheus gave a quick nod before felt Remus push his dick into him with two fingers hooked around the sides of his anus, even though he was clearly not stretched enough for such an action. Or maybe it was the cuts and tears that made it feel that way. Either way, Virgil sobbed harder and screamed around the fabric in his mouth.

“The  _ soft  _ Remus you knew is so far gone and it’s all your fault, Virgil,” Orpheus mocked, Virgil sobbing harder on the word ‘soft’, “hell, you’re the one that brought him to this point. Seems like you, trying to get rid of another side.”

Remus stilled inside of Virgil after hearing Orpheus’s comment, the abused side finally processing the merciless force of Remus’s hips and the bruising pressure on his previous scars once it was over. “You would really do that to me, Virgil?” Remus’s voice was soft, sounding like he was about to cry. Virgil turned and saw the broken expression on Remus’s face. He only ever saw that look when Roman first abandoned him or when Remus was willing to talk about how much it hurts to be him some days.

Virgil tried shouting to him that  _ no, I would never do that to you, not on purpose, Remus, please, you have to believe me, Remus, I’m sorry, my mistakes brought us here and it’s all my fault but I would never hurt you, Remus, stop hurting me, Remus, let’s talk. Remus, I don’t understand what Orpheus is talking about, but we can work this out. I love you. I love you. I love you! Please! _

“Oh,  _ enough  _ with the sobbing, already!” Orpheus was annoyed and turned Virgil’s face towards his crotch. Orpheus had pulled out his cock in the few seconds that Virgil was trying to speak to Remus, so now it was face to face with Virgil.

Virgil tried to block out the rest of what happened that night, but the pain the few days after would give him flashbacks - ones he would immediately repress down. Little did the hurt side know, the light sides were also have a  _ fun _ time; but there was no horror behind it.

None of the three main sides would wince in pain and tear up in the upcoming days. Logan would remember being filled with Roman and Patton with utmost euphoria, not inebriating panic. There was no screams of pain, only pleasure. No begging to stop, only begging for more. No cries of “please” were ignored in honor of breaking the mind of the abused. Logan was only left on the floor because he asked to, because his legs felt like jelly and he needed a moment to breathe -  _ not  _ because the other two had decided they were done with him for now.

Virgil spent the rest of the night staring at the ceiling, the locking of his door a distant echo. It was dark, cold, and uncomfortable. He felt hot blood and cold cum curdling on and  _ in  _ his body, but he stayed on the carpet. He would need to clean it soon, forcibly remembering what had happened - what was going to happen again and again and  _ again  _ until everything stopped.

Virgil began to daydream: of Remus in the soft sunlight, of Orpheus and his past romantic gestures, of feeling whole; but all of those were memories.

No, Virgil daydreamed of being safe and free. Virgil knew he was never going to be safe until they couldn’t hurt him anymore, until there was no heartbeat in his chest.

With that being the happiest thought he had that night, Virgil succumbed to his exhaustion.


	4. Yellow Is The Color Of The Sick and The Sweet (And Deceit)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Romeo & Juliet but it’s Light Sides versus Dark Sides. Virgil says no more than three words to Princey, but finds himself pining to be with the Light Sides and falling in love with a simple gesture of kindness since it’s been the first one he’d been given in days. Orpheus makes sure he crushes that part of Virgil’s too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was so delayed! Senior year is KILLING ME and this AO3 page is honestly my dirty little secret. I know that I promised this chapter would be lighter, but alas, the story has taken its own life. But, if I go back to my outline, next chapter shall be the fluff that I know some of y’all signed up for. Also! We are over THREE HUNDRED hits! That’s so exciting! As always, please let me know if I missed any tws and enjoy!  
> TRIGGER WARNINGS: Rape / Non-Con, Impersonation, Disassociation, Neglect, (Referenced) Abandonment, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Manipulation, (Referenced) Mind / Mood Altering Substances, Misinformation / Twisted Information, Remus drinks cleaning supplies, Forced Voyuerism, (Implied If You Squint) Underage, Sexual Abuse, Unhealthy / Abusive Power Dynamics

Virgil woke up, naked and alone - the same way he had for the last few days. He was too scared to pick up his embroidery needles in fear that Remus would rip them apart again. Virgil had gone outside of the room yesterday to get supplies to clean the white and red stains out of the carpet, but he had walked in on Remus chugging ammonia on the kitchen floor. So, that was out of the question until someone conjured more.

Virgil decided he wanted to try again today, almost walking out naked. His knees buckled at the memory of a few days prior when he tried bring Orpheus breakfast in bed and how upset Orpheus was at any part of Virgil being bare.

He picked up a tattered pair of Remus’s basketball shorts and a sweater of Orpheus’s that the two had left behind the last time the three had their “fun”. Seeing the sunflower yellow and chameleon green on his body in the mirror felt wrong - it felt so distant and unlike himself. Virgil could remember how much he loved to wear the others’ clothes just a few weeks ago, how it once felt like the safest place to be.

Now, the warm clothing made his skin glisten and his knees weak; the smell registering as  **danger** in his mind now. But he needed to clean, and who knows how long he could keep the mess piling on the floor until Orpheus became upset and ~~beat~~ punished Virgil for that too? Virgil opened his door, into the brightly lit hallway, illuminated by french door windows that offered access to a balcony.

Virgil turned towards the broken glass, molded windowsill, and rusted railing. He could see into the light sides from here; their balcony was pearly, white marble and their windows glittered with pristine. Virgil imagined that the others would step onto that balcony to watch the stars or read a book in the crisp air.

_ No, never mind. That’s a laugh and a half _ , Virgil thought to himself,  _ they wouldn’t find peace and solace looking at our  _ **_broken home_ ** _. _

Virgil didn’t deny himself the realization that his home was broken, both physically and otherwise. Remus was a shell of who Virgil ~~knew~~ thought him to be. Orpheus only held warmth in his eyes when there was fire behind them, promising more pain that Virgil thought imaginable at the hands of his lovers - promises that were becoming all he knew.

He felt cold air wisp around his legs as he realized he had stepped out onto his own balcony, entranced by the teasing happiness that emitted from the light sides. Virgil could see through their french doors and saw the prince dancing around, his red muscle tank teasing glimpses of his well-muscled figure as he flourished around the room.

Virgil began to wonder what he was more entranced by: angelic, yet devilish body of Roman or the promise of love that could be his if he was on the other side.

Yes, it was disgusting and cruel to think of one of his lovers’ siblings in such a way, especially with knowing the history between the two. Hell, he shouldn’t think of anyone in the way he was when he knew that he belonged to Orpheus and Remus

And yet,

Virgil felt his ears turn red as he watched the bright eyed prince laugh, and Virgil could swear the room began to glow alongside him. Virgil wished that he could paint like Remus did  ~~_ maybe Roman paints just as well, if not better _ ~~ so he could capture this memory in physical form. Roman was art all in himself, he  _ was  _ creativity, after all, but this feeling was the same as when Remus would drag Virgil and Orpheus through the mindscape for elaborate dates that were too good to be true. ~~_Everything was, wasn’t it?_~~

Virgil’s mind was plagued by all the times he held Remus in his arms as the curly-haired boy sobbed over his loss. Losing Roman was worse than losing himself ( ~~Virgil could attest that that was not the case~~ ). Roman abandoned Remus, his own ~~_self_~~ brother - what was Virgil going to be asking for, if not the same treatment? If not worse? Remus said Roman was narcissistic, ill-tempered, overzealous, and didn’t play nice with others  ~~_ sounds a lot like Orpheus, so a light side couldn’t be so bad in comparison...right? _ ~~ but Remus’s love for his brother was great enough to ignore it back before he was abandoned.

Virgil couldn’t dwell on it anymore once he was pulled from his thoughts by singing. Virgil could search through his vinyls and headphones, but he was sure Roman’s voice was his favorite song.

“Hey, Darky-Sparky!” Roman called out, now also standing on his balcony, attempting to beckon Virgil from his zoned out state. Virgil blinked a few times  _ fuck fuck fuck fuck what do I do what do I say what should I say i ~~s now my chance to cross over to the other side?~~ do I ignore him and go back inside do I make polite conversation how do i make polite conversation wait wait wait hold up wait a damn minute what the fuck does he mean “Darky-Sparky” is that a reference I don’t understand holy shit what if he thinks I’m stupid or lame because I don’t know what he’s talking about oh my god what if it’s slang for something what if he’s being mean what if Remus is right and he is the asshole and I’m just sitting here fantasizing about him as if I’m not dating his brother _

“What’s up, Princey?” Virgil tried to sound nonchalant and cool when he spoke despite the innate anxiousness overcoming his mind at the moment. Roman laughed melodically and Virgil felt so light and heavy at the same time.  _ Oh no. _

With a wave of his hand, Roman sent a glowing dove flying out towards Virgil. As the bird flapped its wings, glitter fell off and shimmered in the light it provided itself. Virgil stuck his hand out for the bird to perch on, and it did so. It was soft and delicate and gentle ~~unlike his last few days had been~~. Virgil stared into its eyes as it examined him, the entirety of the universe trapped in its eyes.

It pulled Virgil in, only allowing him to break away to look at Roman. Roman had a gentle, warm, honest smile on his lips watching the small side become so appreciative of the small gesture. Roman had told the vessel to examine Virgil, see who he was, get information, see his struggles. Roman only asked it to show him the kind parts now, it could always show him the bad later. If the screaming and shouting the other sides that heard over the last few days were real, and were i fact what he had begun to suspect them to be, then Roman needed a plan to save the skinny side.

Roman saw yellow light behind Virgil, not the golden glow of happiness & sunlight, but the sickly sheen of ailment & deception. Roman tried to yell out to warn Virgil, smiling wide with tears of joy in his eyes as he pet the bird that nudged against his hand, but Roman felt his own hand clutch around his lips to silence him.

The dove began to contort in zombie-like ways as it squealed and screeched on Virgil’s hand. Virgil suddenly opted to cup his hands to form a bed for the bird to lay in, but the convulsing aves reduced itself to nothing but blood and ash once it fell over into what was supposed to be warm, comforting hands.

“No, no! I didn’t mean to, I don’t know what I did wrong!” Virgil cried out, looking up at Roman. What he expected was distraught over one of his creatures dying so horribly or maybe even sympathy for the fact that the dark side  **obviously** couldn’t handle actually holding something so beautiful - what he wasn’t expecting was Roman pointing at him and laughing hysterically.

Roman watched Orpheus take on Roman’s face behind Virgil, no doubt displaying that same image to Virgil - pointing and laughing, as if the dove was a cruel joke.

“Please,” Orpheus’s version of Roman cried out, “As if you could hold something of any worth! Hell, it barely had any! - And, somehow, you still ruined it. You’ll be the death of us all, Virgil. What’s the difference between a side and a figment to you, anyhow? You’ve never cared for someone other than yourself.”

Virgil began to sob, falling to his knees as more hot tears spilled out.  _ How did you know? Can you really see my worthlessness all the way over there? ~~Of course, I need Orpheus. Orpheus is the only one who truly loves me - even though I am useless~~. _

_ Loveless creatures like me never deserved the chance to even think about going to your side. _

_ ~~But I’m~~ _ ~~**_not_ ** ~~ _ ~~loveless, I swear! I can’t be loveless. I swore I was falling in love with you.~~ _

"Who knows, Virgil!" Orpheus' disguise as Roman cried out, clutching his stomach in billowing laughter. "Maybe one day, you could be rid of us _all_!"

_ I didn’t mean to kill it. I’m sorry! You don’t know me ~~I want to know you and I want you to know me~~ , Roman, but you have to believe me! _

Virgil was pulled from his thoughts as he felt a hand grab his sweater and rip him back into the dark sides’ abode. He heard the doors creak as they slammed shut and his back was on the ground.

“What were you doing? Virgil, you could’ve gotten hurt!” Orpheus cried out, feigning concern in his voice. “You know how bad sunlight is for dark sides like us! That’s why we take our pills and have Remus take us through the mindscape. God, Virgil, you should’ve asked me. That was stupid! That was a stupid move!”

“I’m sorry, Orpheus. I am,” Virgil croaked out, “I don’t even know what came over me. I just came out to get cleaning supplies and then I turned to look out the window and then suddenly I was just outside and Roman sent the dove - the dove - the dove - the dove over and then it - it -i - it just d-died in my hands! And I don’t know what I did wrong. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m a dark side and it was a gift from the light side-”

“A  _ gift _ ? No, no, don’t you listen to what Remus says? Remus said that Roman abandoned him and only cares about himself and how Roman doesn’t care who he has to hurt to make him feel better about himself.” Orpheus cooed out, sitting Virgil up to clear his airways better. “It was nothing more than a reminder that he will always have it better than us, and that we will never be accepted as a part of his world.” Orpheus could see how broken Virgil looked, and held his breath as it was his only purchase at suppressing the wave of pleasure that went straight to his cock after seeing Virgil hurt.

“Now, baby,” Orpheus hooked two fingers under Virgil’s jaw, forcing the unfighting side to look up at him, “why don’t you show your master how well you’ve taken your lesson?”

Virgil knew there was no point in fighting or crying anymore, opening his mouth expectantly as Orpheus pulled down his track pants.

Roman ran away to his room the second that Orpheus pulled Virgil away from the balcony. He could be impersonated  _ so easily _ , even his lovers Patton and Logan would’ve been deceived by the yellow side’s act had they not known Roman’s every thought and knew he would never think that way.

Roman built up the courage to go back out and sit on the balcony - try to see more, hear more, come up with a plan to save the other side before Deceit and Remus stole the last of that poor soul away. When he walked out towards the french doors once again, he saw Virgil slumped like a rag doll, glassy eyed and blank faced, and Orpheus using the young side’s body for his own pleasures. Roman turned on his heels to run back into his room, back immediately pressing against the door once it shut.

Roman went further into the room, processing what he just saw. It’s not like he didn't know what was happening, but it was clear that Orpheus wanted Roman to see it, clear as day, with his own two eyes. Roman’s stomach clenched and he felt nauseous, Virgil’s wet, blank face engraving itself into his brain.

Roman let out a frustrated scream as he turned and punched the wall. After quite some time, his knuckles were bruised and bleeding and he finally stopped. Orpheus was done with Virgil for now, leaving the disassociated boy on the floor with his legs open - Orpheus won this round; knowing that Roman wouldn’t do anything today and would be eaten alive by the guilt.

_ Some hero he was,  _ all three sides thought - all holding their own perspective.


	5. Daydreaming About Something More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil daydreams a lot about everything the light sides have to offer; even if he subconsciously knows that that will never be a reality. However, the anxious baby needs some form of escapism.  
> TRIGGER WARNINGS: Escapism, false reality, abandonment, manipulation, emotional abuse, jealousy, unhealthy polyamory, reference abuse, and (mentioned) blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so long, I was going to post it on the 5th and then i decided I wanted to indulge into one or two more daydream scenarios and nowwwww we’re here. But hey, not as many trigger warnings this time (unless I forgot any, which, by all means, please let me know!) Also, over 600 hits! How exciting!

Virgil knew that where he was physically versus where he was mentally was completely different. But on one hand, he was physically living, and the other, he was actually alive.

Orpheus and Remus went on a trip to the mindscape the other day, where Virgil offered to stay home and clean up their space. Orpheus questioned it, but ultimately let it go as Remus’s mouth began to water over the idea of having all of the attention for a while.

Virgil didn’t know how long they were going to be, but he relished the peace he felt. The house was clean, ready for whenever his boyfriends came home.

Virgil wasn’t too worried about them coming back. He could sit on the windowsill and watch the light sides for hours on end imagining something more for himself.

-

Roman’s laughter was melodic as his arms threw themselves around Virgil’s waist for some sense of purchase. Virgil was laughing at his own joke as well, tears springing from his eyes as he wrapped his own arms around his flamboyant boyfriend’s shoulders.

The two stayed like that for god knows how long - too long, definitely. As they both calmed down, they remained in each other’s arms, snuggling closer onto the couch. Logan and Patton came home, giggling themselves, with groceries. The older sides, more competitive than they give themselves credit for, had refused to take a second trip - Logan clearly using his knowledge in physics from Thomas’s time in college to create the perfect balance.

Patton cooed as he saw his two younger boyfriends draped lazily over the couch. Patton dropped the bags in his hands on the coffee table in front of them.

“Are you guys going to help put away the groceries or what?” The two on the couch playfully groaned, softly pushing away the plush blanket from their legs and standing up. Virgil, definitely fed better now, was still a little weak from the years with the dark sides. Roman opted to hold more of the heavier grocery bags, while carefully watching Virgil to see if his was too much. Despite being the tallest side, Virgil opted to climb on the counter to put food away, letting Roman and Patton hand him the items that Logan instructed them to, putting them away in what Logan declared to be “the most optimal way to store snacks.”

Once they were done, Patton was the one to ease Virgil onto the floor, Roman and Logan giggling sweetly at the image of the dark, lanky legs wrapped around the small side’s ribs; Virgil’s pale hands clutching Patton’s cat sweater for dear life as he was lowered to the floor.

Patton got on his tippy toes to place a gentle kiss on Virgil’s lips, the tall side quickly latching onto him again to merely chase the warmth the emotional side seemed to radiate. Roman was now reaching for a cookbook to decide what they wanted to cook tonight, quietly talking with Logan as he let the other two have their moment; considering they each got their fair share of the two during their respective afternoon’s activities. Roman preened excitedly over the different pastas, eagerly offering different ideas to the logical side. Logan couldn’t help but reach for his creative lover’s hands while watching the others.

Patton and Virgil broke apart, walking over to the two at the kitchen island. Virgil shyly wrapped his fingers around Logan’s waist as he placed a delicate kiss on the intelligent side’s nose. Virgil wasn’t paying attention to the right-brained sides, but he knew Patton was more than likely gushing over and praising Roman for his choice of dinner tonight.

 _Yeah,_ Virgil thought, _I’m safe._

-

Virgil and Patton had just finished placing the last three trays of cookies in the oven. Patton had said he created a new recipe and he wanted Virgil to be the one to be the first person to try it. Virgil had not ever seen so much food in his life, let alone so many calories splayed in front of him. Virgil shook his head and immediately went back to coloring his drawing on the table - a new look complete with a purple t-shirt and a new hoodie with purple patches and thick silver threading and even knee-high buckled combat boots.

Patton grabbed a cookie from the cooling rack and immediately shoved it in Virgil’s face, distracting him from his new seamstressing plan. Virgil’s wide eyes stared at the sugar cookies with yogurt chips, unsure if he was actually allowed to take it or if Patton was trying to show him some flaw.

“I did say I wanted you to be the first one to try it, didn’t I?” Patton’s smile so pure and excited, Virgil could swear that it outshone the literal sun. Virgil tentatively took the cookie, biting into it and his mouth exploded with the sweet flavor. The only words to ~~ex~~ dark side could be used to describe it was “so _Patton_ ”. It had just the right amount of sugar and chewability and the creaminess of the morsels working with the subtle grain of the regular batter gave every gram a sense of love and happiness - it reminded Virgil as to how much and why he loved Patton (not that he needed a reminder).

“If I may intrude,” said a voice from behind Virgil. Virgil and Patton both turned to face Logan, who looked incredibly comfy at the moment. Logan was in an oversized blue turtleneck, black joggers, and grey slippers, and all Virgil wanted to do was cuddle right into his cozy, tall boyfriend who he could only assume was going to be soft and warm. “I have something to show Virgil.”

Virgil nodded, giving a quick peck to Patton before skipping over to Logan. “Don’t eat all of the cookies! I think they’re my new favorite, sweetheart.”

Patton laughed as his giggling boyfriend’s kind words. “Of course, angel. I’ll see you both in a bit.” Patton smiled as he turned around to start washing dishes before he began on dinner.

Logan softly tugged Virgil down hallways until they reached a grand, oak wood door. How the hell it had fit in their house, Virgil may never know, but it added to the mystery.

“What did you want to show me?” Virgil asked as Logan fiddled with his keys. The logical side selected a golden skeleton key that had a shining sapphire around the base of the design, putting it into the lock and turning it.

“My office. I suppose calling it a ‘study’ would be a better fit, but it’s all the same to me.” Logan pushed open the door with his left, releasing the key and reaching for Virgil’s hand with his right, and pulled his anxious boyfriend inside.

Orpheus never really let Virgil into his study, so he never knew how many books his old lover had.

Whatever number that was, Logan definitely had more.

Logan’s office looked more like a Victorian library and it took everything in Virgil not to run around and touch every cherrywood shelf he could get his hands on. All he could do was stare at the floor-to-ceiling shelves of books and be enthralled by all the knowledge surrounding him.

“You know Belle? From _Beauty and The Beast_ ?” Logan asked, squeezing Virgil’s hand. Virgil turned to face him, being greeted by the warm, loving smirk that was oh so _Logan_. Virgil nodded his head excitedly, not trusting his voice to not embarrass himself.

“You look a lot like her right now.” Logan shrugged, looking back at his shelves. Virgil grunted out a confused noise before the concepts connected in his head - Logan was referring to Belle seeing the Beast’s library andhe ultimately gives it to her. Virgil giggled when he got the joke, quickly stepping in and snuggling into Logan’s shoulder.

“It’s amazing. Can I stay?” Virgil asked softly, hoping the way he asked was sufficient for Logan.

“Of course, precious. I brought you here, did I not? Clearly I’m okay with you being here.” Logan’s brow furrowed as he turned towards his boyfriend who was doing his best impersonation of a koala. Virgil cuddled in closer, mumbling something unintelligible into Logan’s side. Logan chuckled and walked further into his study, Virgil’s feet automatically stumbling in rhythm.

“Precious,” Logan cooed, treading fingers through Virgil’s now-purple hair. Virgil looked up and met Logan’s eyes, meeting a warm expression that was as warm as the sugar cookies he and Patton had just put in the oven; “how about you pick a book and I can read with you? Or, of course, to you, if you’d prefer. Patton and Roman will probably join us once the cookies are ready and Roman’s done rehearsing his audition monologue.”

Virgil nodded

-

All four light sides had been sitting in a botanical garden, flowers fluttering and flowing in the wind, and Virgil couldn’t help but be amazed by Roman’s imagination. Such a beautiful mind inside such a beautiful man who had a beautiful heart. There was just something about the way Roman had suddenly pulled Virgil through the trees, suddenly abandoning Patton and Logan in the gazebo, had Virgil’s heart thumping in rhythm to their stomping in a way it never had before.

Sure, Remus had done the same thing countless times during their relationship, but Remus always needed some twist to it that would kill Virgil’s fun. Maybe Remus would run them off a cliff or purposely make the terrain difficult to cross with twisting an ankle, but that’s always what came about when you were the _forbidden_ side of creativity. As much as Virgil loved Remus once upon a time, the Remus he loved was long gone - not entirely by his own doing, but gone nonetheless.

Remus also never made Virgil feel quite like the light sides did. Maybe the fourway was a far better fit for his taste than a threeway, or maybe it was simply because Orpheus was removed from the picture, but Virgil had finally found peace. Joy. Worth. _Love_.

Roman had finally stopped when they had come across what was quite possibly the most amazing sight Virgil had ever laid his eyes on, save for his boyfriends.

Virgil gawked at the glittering teal waterfall, steam appearing the dance as it rose off the water. Pink sand contrasted with the charcoal-colored precipies where the waterfall came from. Most of all, he saw his older boyfriends sweetly setting up a picnic set-up for the four of them.

“Do you like it?” Roman asked nervously. Virgil turned in absolute awe - how could he not? It was grand and glittering and all-encompassing and ethereal and so _Roman_ . Virgil pulled his tan, muscular boyfriend by the hand that still held his, into a passionate, but not fiery, kiss. A kind of purposeful kiss that said _thank you, I love it, I love_ **_you_ ** _, this is perfect,_ **_you’re_ ** _perfect, I love the way you express your mind and I want to indulge in every corner of it._

“That good, huh, angel?” Patton called out from the set-up. The two younger sides giggled and ran over to their older boyfriends. Patton handed them both a chilled glass of sweet white wine to match theirs. Roman quickly downed his glass before dropping it into the sand and pulling Patton with him towards the water. Patton let out a squeak as he quickly tried finishing his wine but failed to do so as Roman picked up the plump side and threw him into the water. Roman quickly swan dived into the water to fetch Patton in order to save him - not as though he needed to, Roman’s realm would never hurt any of his lovers; Roman just liked to show off his strength.

Virgil giggled as he watched his sweeter boyfriends play around in the water, watching how the sun hit them just right. Virgil was done with his wine, but he still twirled the glass in his hands as he watched. He felt rough, loving fingers brush over his right knuckles, turning to face them.

“Shall we?” Logan asked, voice husky in want and in play. Virgil could feel his heart grow another size for his lover, but he also felt his chest tighten.

“You go on ahead, I can watch.” Virgil managed to choke out, mentally berating himself for not getting the words out smoother. Logan’s face contorted with worry as he brought Virgil’s hand to his own lips, hoping to kiss the issue out of Virgil.

“Is something wrong? Are you afraid of water? We can ask Roman to change the scene if you’d prefer something else. Logan looked like he was about to call out to Roman, but Virgil quickly grabbed his nerdy lover’s cheeks and pulled him into a kiss to shut him up before he could say anything.

“I’m fine, love. Really, I am. It’s just that…” Virgil mumbled against Logan’s lips, hoping Logan’s need to always chase a kiss would offer a viable distraction from the true matter at hand.

“It’s just that…?” Logan continued, pressing his lips together as he quickly assessed Virgil’s plan on distracting him. Logan scanned his newest boyfriend’s face for any sign of discomfort or turmoil.

“I don’t know how to swim. I don’t want to ruin this amazing date by me trying to swim and failing miserably.” Virgil felt disappointed in himself. His lovers would never hurt him, only help him. He was safe, he didn’t need to be scared all the time anymore.

“We can always teach you. How about we start slow?” Smooth, comforting voice aside - Logan’s smile was all the convincing Virgil needed. Virgil nodded excitedly, dropping the wine glass and trusting that Roman’s realm willed it to their picnic area.

“I’ll be right next to you the whole time until you’re ready or until you want to let our idiots help you instead.” Logan’s voice vibrated against Virgil’s shoulder as he kissed it, leading the pale side to the water. They came to the edge and Virgil instinctively jumped back, fearing the water.

“Lover, what’s wrong?” Roman asked, ceasing his play with Patton as he saw Virgil be scared of something within his realm. “Nothing can hurt you here, you’ll always be safe as long as I’m around. As long as _we’re_ around.” Patton nodded alongside Roman. _They’re right,_ Virgil told himself, _I am safe now._

Virgil nodded and stepped into the serene water. Logan held Virgil’s right hand with his own, his left hand resting on the slate between the emo’s shoulder blades to help ease him forward. Patton stepped forward, both hands reaching for Virgil’s left. Roman stood in front, slowly stepping backwards as Virgil stepped forwards, hoping his slow movements would beck and call for his anxious lover.

“We’ve got you, angel.” Patton coaxed, kissing Virgil’s knuckles as he finally got up to his waist in the water. “Just relax, doesn’t it feel nice?” Patton’s voice was so soothing that Virgil couldn’t tell if the warmth on his skin was from the water or his boyfriend, who was up to his chest in the water.

“Just imagine flying to Roman, okay, precious?” Logan asked, gently releasing Virgil’s right hand and pushing him forwards. Patton also let go of Virgil’s hands, though he kept them in grabbing distance incase his anxious boyfriend got scared again. Virgil bit his lip and let his instincts carry him over to Roman.

His pale hands met with large biceps and cheers surrounded him. Virgil opened his eyes, he didn’t remember Roman being so far back but both of their legs were kicking and it all felt _right_.

“See? Just like I said!” Roman beamed, excitedly swirling his boyfriend around. “As long as I’m here, as long as we’re here, nothing could ever hurt you. We love you, Virgil. We’ll always love you.”

Virgil beamed and went to press a kiss to Roman’s lips, but he sharply fell face-first into the shimmering oasis, oh so suddenly cold and dark and lonely, like a water droplet.

-

Virgil screamed out in fear, accidentally slamming his face into his window when he flinched from the sudden cold and wetness. Rubbing his forehead, not registering the new cut on his eyebrow as the blood mixed with the water, Virgil turned away from the window.

There stood Remus with a now empty bucket and Orpheus with flowers in hand. Virgil instinctively flinched seeing Orpheus’s hand reached out, but he took a second before reaching out for it with his own.

“What was that you said, love?” Orpheus asked, raising Virgil’s left hand and placing his own onto Virgil’s right hip. Virgil keened into the warmth of his boyfriend, hooking his forehead into his lover’s neck as they swayed.

“You guys left me alone longer than I thought you would. Starting daydreaming of a romantic group date.” Virgil mumbled, giving as much of the truth as he could without actually being honest.

“So needy.” Remus rolled his eyes as he willed the water to dry. Virgil tried to ignore it, but he felt Remus’s hot eyes burning holes into his skin. _Remus was_ **_definitely_ ** _experiencing some sort of subdrop, but not the cutesy type,_ Virgil thought. Virgil knew he would need to pay more attention to Remus if he didn’t want his boyfriend becoming worse - god knew that Orpheus couldn’t care less about taking proper care of Remus in this state when his mind was just so malleable when he was like this.

“Just as Virgil said, sweetheart,” Orpehus cooed out to Remus as he lifted his and Virgil’s hands, beckoning Remus to slip in, “As long as I’m here, nothing could ever hurt you. I love you.” Remus scooted into his two lovers’ arms, immediately snaking his own arms around them.

Virgil couldn’t help but feel disgusted as _Roman’s_ words spilled out of Orpheus’s mouth, but he was able to suppress the shudder. All he could think about was pressing blades to his skin or taking a pill in order to numb himself back into his reality. It all simply felt so **wrong**.

Patton couldn’t help but feel sorrowful as he watched the three dark sides hug, the bigger two clearly sucking some of the skinny boy’s soul as they embraced him. Roman had told Patton about seeing _something_ , but never went into what - but Patton and Logan knew one thing, and it was that they needed to bring that boy over to the light side. It killed the three main sides to watch him be stuck over there. It all simply felt so **wrong**.


	6. Pills For Sickness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Orpheus is giving the boys new pills, and Virgil doesn’t want to take his. Don’t worry, Remus is there to help him out. In more ways than one ;)  
> Or...is he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to post this on Valentine’s Day, but ‘tis okay because it’s here now. Your girl is going through some ISSUES at this current moment so my update schedule may be slowing down (is that even possible? Let’s find out!) and these next few chapters are going to be HEAVY handed on the angst, I can feel it. Also, this was 6 pages on my Google Doc so…. It’s a long read. I’m sorry. As always, please read all warnings before proceeding, and enjoy!  
> WARNINGS: Dubious consent, mind / mood altering drugs, unhealthy polyamory, emotional manipulation / abuse, abuse of the mentally ill, shape shifting, pro-anorexia viewpoints, possessive tendencies, shameless smut, unsafe sex practices, and purging.

Staring at the the cup of black tea in a saucer, with two gray oblong pills on the plate, Virgil couldn’t seem to keep his focus on what was actually in front of him. Every time he went to reach for the drink and pills, he felt something inside of himself stopping him.

That same feeling was beckoning him towards the light sides, once again. Virgil knew that killing the bird made Roman upset, it must have. It doesn’t matter that he didn’t mean to, it still hurt Roman. Maybe if he went to the balcony again and talked about it?

What if he had been wrong this whole time? Maybe the light sides aren’t what he’s made them out to be or maybe they’re incompatible so even if they are the amazing ~~lovers~~ people he believes they are. It’s not worth it. ~~Or is it?~~

_ These new pills have my brain on overdrive,  _ Virgil thought.  _ That’s weird. The old ones made me stop thinking. _ Orpheus told Virgil that his old pills were making him sick. What Orpheus meant by “sick” he’d never know, mainly because he had felt okay and Orpheus yelled at him and then stormed out when he asked why.

Virgil must have been staring at the cup for a while, because he felt a hand shove him lightly. He turned and saw Remus, shirtless and with a green garter peeking out of his black ripped skinny jeans, where Virgil could see the sheer green socks and the lace band of the socks underneath through the rips.

“I’m sorry,” Virgil’s throat was dry and he tried to talk past it, “were you saying something? I wasn’t paying attention. I’m sorry.”

“I said,” Remus started, fiddling with the bows adorning his waist on his garter, “if you put the pills in the tea, it’ll make them easier to take. My new pills are difficult to take too.”

Virgil stared at Remus as he leaned over the table, picking up and dropping the two pills into the black tea, and leaving his hips angled upwards as he used a spoon to mix it together.

“Remus, I’m not a child. I could’ve done it myself.” Virgil tried to speak coolly, as if his eyes weren’t mesmerized by how tight his boyfriend’s jeans were.

Virgil swore could see every curve of the lace pattern through the denim and how snug it was on Remus’ underside. He also didn’t fail to notice how there were rips in the back as well, or how the silver skull clip charm, that connected the garter to the socks, was a spider with a purple jewel body. Right as he was about to reach to fiddle with said charm, the body he was reaching for pulled away from him and the ass he was staring at placed itself on the kitchen table in front of him. Oh, how he wished he could drink his boyfriend instead of the stupid tea.

Virgil pouted, which was met by Remus’s old melodic laughter ( ~~not his twisted manic one he had grown used to lately~~ ) and Remus opening his legs so his calves rested on Virgil’s thighs, crocodile heels grazing the side of his hips as they shifted.

“You can have anything you want just as long as you ask,” Remus pushed the teacup towards Virgil “and you drink the medicine tea. I, the ever-so creative Remus, would prefer that you didn’t make our lives harder simply because you won’t do what needs to be done.”

Was Remus wrong? Absolutely not, but the last part still stung a tad. Virgil stared at the tea, silver shimmer swirling at the top, and he could’ve sworn he saw Orpheus’ reflection in the tea instead of Remus.

“I’ll even help you. Lean forward like a good boy, angel.” Remus quipped, taking the teacup by the handle, moving the saucer out the way and placing it behind himself. Virgil leaned forward, looking up and watching his boyfriend through his lashes as Remus tipped the cup into his mouth. There was a bit of undissolved pill powder at the bottom of the cup, but Virgil licked up what he could.

“Always so perfect when you’re complacent. I should paint the memory so it doesn’t fade.” Remus’s praise took Virgil by surprise, leaving him speechless as Remus placed the teacup in the saucer once again.

Remus patted the inside of his thigh, signaling the emo to place his head there. He did, who was he to disobey when he finally had  _ his  _ Remus again?

They stayed like that for a few minutes, content with their position. At some point, Remus had begun playing with Virgil’s hair and Virgil wrapped his arms around Remus’s other leg.

“Something’s on your mind, precious,” Remus whispered, “please tell me.”

“I don’t know if I’m enough anymore. If I ever was enough.” Virgil whimpered out. He had meant to lie, or at least soften the truth, but he couldn’t. His own mouth wouldn’t let him. “I want to go to the light sides, or at least just show myself to Thomas. Talk to him. Talk to the others. I want them to understand us. Maybe I’ll matter then.”

Remus’s reaction was slow, needing a moment to think of what to say. “You matter to me. Why would you want to go over there with them? With  _ Roman _ ?” Remus’s voice broke at the mention of his brother’s name. Virgil quickly removed his face from Remus’s lap to stand up and cradle his lover’s face.

“If I go to...them, then I can talk to them. Maybe I can even get Roman to apologize for how it was when he left. Remus, I love you. I wouldn’t consider it if I didn’t think it was for the best.”

Virgil brushed his thumb over Remus’s face as he spoke, prepared for watery eyes and tears, but they never came. Remus was always the first one to be a blubbering mess who lost his availability to communicate, so Virgil mentally applauded his boyfriend for keeping himself together.

“But what if you’re wrong? What if they take you from me?” Remus’s voice started sweet and pleading but it quickly snapped into something else as he grabbed Virgil’s wrist. “You can’t leave me. I won’t let you. I won’t allow you too!”

“Remus.” Virgil kept his voice as calm as he could, even though he began to shake. “I said I love you. If they ‘take me from you’, that means you were already gone.”

“That will  _ never _ happen.” Remus gritted out, squeezing Virgil’s wrist. Remus’s eyelids began to twitch and his breathing sharpened. “You belong to me. You will  _ always  _ be mine.”

“Then you don’t have anything to worry about then, my creepy cookie.” Virgil chuckled out, pushing down any discomfort or confusion that Remus’s word choice gave him. Virgil brought Remus’s hand to his lips and placed gentle kisses across the back of it, leaving a promise with each one.

“How much do you love me, Remus?” Virgil mumbled into the back of the hand, only pausing his kisses to speak.

“More than a lion loves to hear baby zebras cry when they watch their mommy zebra be eaten.” Remus sounded unsure in his words, not as for their meaning, but more of the image he was painting. “How much do you love me? Do you love me like you love Orpheus?”

“No.” Virgil brought their hands up and placed his other hand on Remus hip, shifting his body in between his lover’s legs. “I love you more so.”

Remus slung his free hand around the back of Virgil’s neck and placed an extremely rough kiss, teeth clanking against one another for a second. “I don’t like it when you lie to me.” Remus whispered, split tongue pressing forwards.

“I’m not lying.” Virgil retorted, squeezing both of his hands for good measure. “When did you get your tongue split?”

“Oh!” Remus gasped in surprise; Remus could claim that it was about the squeeze, Virgil would argue that it was about remembering the fact that he forgot about his tongue. “I wanted to be like Orpheus, and I found some scissors. Why not, you know?”

“So silly.” Virgil chuckled, releasing Remus’s hand to place on his other hip. “Just one of the things I love about you, the real you.”

“Maybe you should carry me the couch to continue with this.” Remus mumbled, lips still pressed to Virgil’s. “Maybe talk to me more about how much you love the real me?”

“Anything you want, my liege.” Virgil pulled Remus closer to the edge of the table, no doubt with the intention of making it easier for himself to get Remus’s thighs, but definitely making sure he clashed their cocks together. “You gonna let me make you feel good?”

“Yes, if you’re asking to top.” Remus giggled, shifting up against Virgil’s hips. “Now carry me!” Remus wrapped both arms around Virgil’s neck, one reaching up into Virgil’s hair. Virgil lifted Remus’s legs up, cubital fossa meeting popliteal fossa ( ~~words Virgil learned from his latest fantasy of Logan~~ ) as he grabbed Remus’s ass.

Remus squealed into Virgil’s mouth as he was lifted up, Virgil making sure to rock his shirtless boyfriend against his own crotch as he walked them towards the living room. At some point, Remus had moved his arms and began working on Virgil’s grey button down, and was now attacking the newly exposed skin.

Virgil slowly knelt on the ground, careful to not drop Remus, until he could finally sit on his feet and place Remus in his lap. Virgil finally snaked his arms out from underneath his lover in order to trail his arms up the skin that was on display.

“So gorgeous.” Virgil whimpered, feeling how soft Remus’s skin was. As much as Remus hated it, Virgil loved the way his lover was rounded out on his torso. Virgil hated how Remus would starve himself and Orpheus would tell him he would be worth more if he was skinnier; Virgil could die with his face on Remus’s stomach and he’d die the comfiest and the happiest man alive.

Remus released his arms as he leaned backwards to brace his fall, leaving his legs wrapped around Virgil. Virgil eyes went wide and wild as he drank up the sight before him: Remus splayed out, open, inviting, beckoning.

Virgil brought his hands down Remus’s sides once again before resting open palms against the inguinal ligament. “I wish I could paint so you could understand how beautiful you are to me.” Virgil stressed his final word by shifting both of his hands to Remus’s cock to squeeze it.

Remus lets out a wonton moan, falling back onto his elbows rather than his hands, throwing his head back. Virgil takes note of Remus’s pleasure, alternating which hand is squeezing until Remus has his heels planted into the carpet and is pushing up into his boyfriend’s hands.

“Please,” Remus moans out, “please touch me. And you know what I mean.”

“Such a needy little thing,” Virgil works at the button and zipper of Remus’s jeans, immediately hooking underneath the band to pull them off, “are you this assertive with Orpheus too?”

Remus snorts. “Of course not.” Virgil pauses for a second, taking his eyes off Remus’s legs to meet his eyes instead. The typically anxious side could’ve sworn he heard Orpheus’s voice. Virgil looks around for a second, searching for his other lover. Virgil also feels a pang of guilt for what he’s doing, despite how hard Remus is in his pants and how hot it’s making him.

Maybe he shouldn’t be touching Remus like this, even though he’s asking for it. Virgil didn’t ask for permission to fuck Remus ( ~~even though he shouldn’t have to, it’s his boyfriend too~~ ) and that would make Orpheus mad again.

Oh god, what was he doing? Why did his mind always have to think like this? He’s doing nothing wrong. ~~He has to be doing something wrong~~. Why does he always have to get to this point? He just wants to please his boyfriend, why does it need to be a whole ordeal?

Virgil knows it’s because he’s sick. ~~You’re not really sick. Orpheus wants you to think you’re sick.~~ Orpheus is never wrong. ~~Orpheus can lie.~~ Orpheus wouldn’t lie unless it was for a reason ~~The reason is that he wants to hurt you.~~

_ Virgil, you’re sick.  _ _ S ~~top it. Stop it with this narrative. You’re not sick, you’re being broken like Remus was. It’s not too late to walk away.~~ You are taking the pills so you can be saved. ~~Those pills are what you need saving from.~~ _

“What’s wrong, baby? Am I not good enough for you anymore?” Remus cooed. In the time that Virgil was having the whole conversation in his head, Remus had taken off his heels and jeans, leaving him glad in only his green lingerie.

“Of course you are, baby. I’m just…” Virgil sighed as his eyes traced up those plump, strong legs of Remus’s. “Maybe we should stop. This doesn’t feel right.”

“Did I tell you to stop?” Remus’s pleasured smile dropped into an angry glare. Virgil immediately jumped and then dropped his face to press hickies across Remus’s body and raced his hands over the lingerie.

“My apologies, my liege.” As Virgil brought his lips to the lacy panties, he was elated to find that Remus had put the underwear over the garter so that he didn’t need to unclip the set. Virgil clamped his teeth on one of the straps, hand hooking around the other, and removed it from Remus. Such action was met by Remus’s already hard, leaking cock springing free. The cool air hitting it made the green-clad side moan.

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you look, all pink and flushed out?” Virgil spoke his praise after returning to Remus’s pleasure zone, letting his breath trail over the pulsing cock as he lazily stroked it.

“N-n-not enough, baby.” Remus moaned out, head rolling back once again.

Virgil chuckled as he strengthened his grip around Remus’s cock. The pale side wrapped his lips around the head, causing it to vibrate with excitement. He took his time exciting Remus: hollowing his cheeks as he shook his head side to side, cupping Remus’s balls with one hand while he tightly squeezed the shaft with the other.

Remus didn’t last long before he started thrusting up into Virgil’s mouth, not even bothering to ask first as he reached to grabbed Virgil’s hair. All of his weight shifted onto one elbow as he fucked into Virgil’s mouth without abandon; trusting that Virgil would relax his throat in order to allow for such an occurrence.

Remus suddenly came down Virgil’s throat, hips still jolting, but he finally let go of Virgil’s hair. Virgil pulled off with the release of his hair, relishing in the fact that he could breathe once again.

“I was going to finger you as I sucked you off, you know.” Virgil stated, continuing to stroke his lover’s shaft. “I still have all of my clothes on still.”

“Get them off and get to it, radish-butt. I’m still going.” Remus breathed out, leaning into Virgil’s touch.

Virgil laughed at the weird nickname, but stopped pleasuring Remus so he could rip off his skinny jeans and button down, leaving him clad in only his boxers. Remus whined, snapping so his hole was lubed and prepped.

“So impatient. Where’d all your royal manners go, your highness?” Virgil tsked before slamming his mouth down on Remus, taking the cock as far as he could while lining up to fingers against his hole. Remus screamed and let his elbow off the ground, letting his back slam on the floor.

Virgil took this opportunity to lift Remus’s legs up and hold it there to offer him a better status of fingering his lover. Remus followed his lead by lifting his other leg and holding it himself, moaning as he pressed onto Virgil’s fingers.

Virgil immediately pushed three fingers in, letting his green lover feel the burn and stretch the action offered him. Remus screamed out and clenched around the fingers, chest immediately shooting upwards and then back down again like a sit up.

“Please, please, please. I’m stretched enough. I need you. Please use me. I’m just a toy. Just a little royal whor-” The end of Remus statement was cut off by another scream as Virgil took him to the hilt and added a fourth finger to his ass. Remus couldn’t help but cum again in the matter of 5 minutes, legs shaking from overstimulation.

“Remus, I’m not just fucking you. I’m loving you.” Virgil breathed out once he released himself off of Remus, hooking his boxers underneath his balls so he could stuff himself into his boyfriend.

“Ba da ba ba baaa.” Remus softly sang, giggling the whole time he did. Virgil laughed, holding one of Remus’s legs flush against his body with one arm while his others hands lined his cock up to his lover’s hole.

Virgil placed a kiss to the stocking-clad calf as he slowly sank into Remus, nipping at it once he finally bottomed out. Both boyfriends moaned out at the feeling, Remus squeezing his hole that was wrapped around Virgil’s base to add to the pleasure.

Something snapped in Virgil, causing him to place his right leg over Remus’s left in order to trap him, holding Remus’s right leg closer, and began thrusting faster.

Virgil was only quiet when he didn’t want it, so one could argue that Virgil was even louder than Remus when he fucked into him; groaning out praise and babbles of incoherent nonsense. Virgil came once he slammed into Remus’s prostate, but he didn’t let that stop him from his absolute need to keep on going.

Virgil was absolutely mesmerized by the way Remus’s pudge bounced and jiggled around as he got fucked. He loved the way his Adam’s apple bobbed or the way his curls flounced around his face. He loved the way his eyes rolled back as he was about to cum or how his tongue lolled out of his mouth whenever he wasn't screaming in pleasure.

At some point, they had shifted into doggy and Virgil found more things to love. He loved to watch Remus wiggle and bounce. He loved the feeling of Remus’s cock swinging backwards to tap his inner thigh when he went extra rough. He loved the way Remus’s neck felt as he choked him, or the way his hot, wet mouth enveloped two of his fingers when he ordered the bottom to suck on them.

Remus had already been filled the brim, which fueled as more lube, but suddenly the two were cumming dry at the same time and they finally slowed down. Virgil slowed down his thrusts simply because the momentum refused to let him stop, but he let Remus go so he could breathe.

Remus was on his hands and knees, cum drying onto the lingerie set, breathing heavy, hole ravaged and plump, and it was difficult for Virgil not to go for another round, but both of their softening cocks were protesting otherwise.

Virgil stood up, trying to get some circulation in his legs again. He was also suddenly aware of the fact that he had no underwear on, but couldn’t remember where they had gone or when they were removed.

Hickies had gone from sweet pink to yellow and green and purple, with quite a few red bite marks. Remus snapped them clean and reached out for Virgil, grabbing hands and a sweet pout and all.

Virgil chuckled as he lifted his subspaced lover to his feet, walking him over to the couch. Virgil pulled the blanket over to the two of them before he started whispering praise between his kisses, careful to pay extra attention to Remus. He knew Orpheus probably never did so when he was in charge of the creative side.

Remus was snoring against Virgil’s chest, which was weird because Remus never snored, Orpheus did.  _ That’s weird,  _ Virgil thought,  _ maybe it’s because Remus had been spending a lot of personal time with Orpheus recently? Also, shouldn’t Orpheus be home by now? _

Virgil brushed the thoughts from his mind, letting himself slump against the other.

“You bitch.” A voice claimed from the stairs. Virgil’s eyes shot open and turned towards the stairs, honey meeting grey once again. This was the moment it suddenly hit Virgil that he had been staring into brown eyes the whole time.

“Remus, I thought it was you.” Virgil immediately jumped up and off the couch to try and meet the real Remus, though he jumped at the sudden hit of cool air to his body.

“No, no, no! It’s fine! It’s not as if I don’t take the beatings or act like his little fucking lab rat, it’s clear that you’re the favorite.” Remus threw his hands up and stormed towards the kitchen. Virgil immediately tailed his real creative boyfriend.

“Remus, I meant it. You weren’t here to hear it, but I said that I loved you even more than Orpheus and how much I loved your body and how you were my definition of perfect and - “ Virgil blabbered out excuses, any excuse.  _ ~~Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.~~ _

“Oh my god, shut  _ up _ , Virgil! It’s clear that I’m the ant and you’re the magnifying glass and Orpheus is the sun ray. Oh! Or you are the Styrofoam that gets innocently dropped into my gasoline vat. Oh! Or even the fact that you are the lighter and I am the dynamite stick.”Remus had begun listing little scenarios as he grabbed a wooden spoon to shove into his throat, throwing up as he finished his little dynamite scene.

“I don’t know what any of that means, Remus.” Virgil was at a loss.  _ How could he be that stupid? _

“It means you’re the death of me.”


	7. A Predator's Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil gets a spider, and finds out that he IS a spider! (Kinda?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in two days? Who IS she? Also: Did I do the classic author thing and pour over baby name websites? Yes, yes I did. Fun fact, Heth means “trembling fear” and Kibou means “hope”. WARNINGS: Possessiveness, unhealthy polyamory, unhealthy power dynamics, broken glass, eating glass, walking barefoot over glass, fear, eating disorders (mentioned), vomit (mentioned), blood (not too explicit but it’s there), deception, emotional manipulation / abuse, physical abuse, possession, mental abuse, dying animals (mentioned), self deprecation, homicidal thoughts, evisceration, jealousy, comfort animal, non-con kiss, and pining / stalking

“I made your favorite.” Virgil called out, not needing to turn around to know that Orpheus had just walked into the kitchen. Though, he did anyways, just to hold up a fresh plate and a smile. “Chicken sausage and fried fish eggs!”

Even though his smile was warm and his eyes were bright, Virgil was not happy to simply be obedient this morning. No, he was fuming and he was hurt and he wanted to scream and most of all, he wanted to cross over to the other side where Orpheus couldn’t hurt him again.

But that’s not something he could have, now, could he?

Remus’s vomit may have been washed down the drain and the smell was masked by a eucalyptus scented candle, it was etched into Virgil’s senses. Especially _“it means you’re the death of me.”_

Orpheus smiled, grabbing the plate with his left hand and and snaked his right around Virgil’s waist, pulling him closer. Orpheus placed a tender kiss on Virgil's lips, which was returned despite how it made Virgil’s skin crawl.

Orpheus was not concerned in the slightest about what he’d done to his lovers last night. Spiders and rats are snake prey, and he simply pounced. Hurt added an extra flavor to savor in the grand scheme of things; though Orpheus wasn’t complaining about how Virgil’s skin tasted when he bit it last night. Speaking of prey...

“And what will you eat, my precious spider?” Orpheus asked as he released Virgil from his grip. Such a silly thing, it was: tasting the newfound hurt that seared under Virgil’s skin. Orpheus could taste the smokiness of broiling anger and the juiciness of inevitable defeat.

It was the perfect complement to the umami flavor of unrealized danger. Virgil barely even recognized the power he could wield if he simply tried; a skill Orpheus could teach him, _would_ teach him - if it wasn’t so much fun to cage it into obedience instead.

“Oh, I already ate.” Virgil lied as Orpheus sat down at the table. Orpheus cocked an eyebrow as the smell of pretense filled the air.

“Oh did you now? I suppose that’s why that towel is out of place,” Orpheus cocked an eyebrow towards the towel that rested on the handle of the oven, dry and untouched, “you towel dried your plate and put it away instead of leaving it in the strainer. _Good boy_.”

Virgil’s eyes flicked between Orpheus, the towel, and the door leading to the garden. Remus was outside, hanging by a noose from a tree, but still holding up a book on arachnids to show that he was still alive.

“I don’t want to eat.” Virgil finally muttered out, anxiety levels soaring the longer he held onto the lie.

Orpheus cleaned the last piece of food on his plate, standing up and grabbing his plate. “Why?”

“Because I hurt Remus last night when I was trying to make him feel good.” Virgil snapped at the innocence in Orpheus’s voice _How dare you,_ Virgil thought, _I know that it was you last night. How dare you play innocent ~~when you're nothing but the villain~~? _

“O-oh,” Orpheus stammered out feigning confusion and hurt as a response to Virgil’s retort. Orpheus turned his gaze to his plate, rubbing against the sides as a way to release the tension in the room.

Orpheus’s guilty expression turned overconfident and devious in the second it took him to look up from his plate and up at Virgil. “Suppose that’s all your good for, now, isn’t it? Hurting everyone, _especially_ Remus?”

Virgil sputtered and tried to stammer out some sort of response, but Orpheus spoke over him.

“You know, he knows that you are the lesser of my two lovers.” Orpheus tossed the glass casually and it smashed all over the floor. Virgil jumped back from the sound and shards.

“Ever so _worthless_ , ever so _ungrateful_ , ever so _stupid!_ ” Every insult was punctuated by Orpheus stepping barefooted into glass shards, blood leaking out from underneath his feet. Virgil whimpered at the sight. “He doesn’t want to be your plaything. He knows you are nothing more than a toy; if he could even claim that much of you.”

“Orpheus…” Virgil stared in shock. What else could he do? Orpheus was finally face to face with him.

“And to think I was going to give you a present!” Orpheus brought up his left hand, Virgil immediately throwing his arms over his face to protect it from the hit. Scars on his arms were always much easier to hide from himself than ones on his face. Virgil heard the sound of air displacement and mentally prepared for how much it would hurt in the upcoming days.

The hit never came.

But a groan did.

Virgil dropped his arms just enough so he could see what was going on. What he saw was Orpheus was pinned down with purple legs that came from...himself?

Virgil fully lowered his arms to take in the legs. They were bright violet and skeletal, and Virgil felt a slight displacement in the center of his back. He tentatively clenched that muscle to test his theory, and when the legs released and then re-pinned Orpheus to the table, his hypothesis was deemed correct.

“Something must’ve gone wrong…” Orpheus muttered low, breath shaking a little bit under Virgil. “Guess it’s what I get for not practicing more…”

“What?” Virgil asked, voice laced with fear and confusion. His brain was firing every stress neuron it had. He didn’t understand what was happening, and he was scared of whatever was happening.

“It’s - it’s nothing, precious.” Orpheus stammered out, watching the hairs on the bony legs stand and sway.

“Answer me!” Virgil screeched out, two pairs of legs shooting back out towards Orpheus, the final pair slamming into the ground next to him to solidify where he was and stop himself from curling into a ball on the floor.

“I did say I was going to give you a present. It was my mistake for trying to conjure an animal for the first time without testing my abilities beforehand.” Orpheus reached behind his back, pulling out a tarantula.

“For...me?” Vigil’s eyes glazed over in childlike innocence and want, his voice becoming small. The legs, accordingly, eased up from their positions to make Virgil appear smaller.

“Well, I made a spider for you, angel,” Orpheus, for the first time, was hoping his lie would be enough and that Virgil would believe it, “And I obviously made it with the intent of it being yours; so I guess I accidentally made you part spider.”

Orpheus held out the spider, to which Virgil immediately went out with his hands in a cup for the spider to nest into. Virgil was so overcome with excitement that he forgot about the incident with Roman’s dove.

Almost.

Right as he was about to pull his hands back, the tarantula scampered over and nestled itself in Virgil’s hands. Virgil watched intently, waiting for the blood or convulsion to arrive just as it did last time. The absolute fear that he destroys everything he touches was about to present itself as reality, once again. The idea of hurting another being made Virgil’s stomach clench and his breath hitch.

The spider gleefully danced in his hands, unaware of his peril.

Virgil felt like he could breathe again.

“What did you name it?” Virgil asked, a smile playing against his lips.

“I’ll leave it up to you. He is yours, you know. Maybe ‘Heth’?” Orpheus offered. It was so lovely to see how easily Virgil forgot about putting the blame on the true villain, always so readily falling for the lies.

“Can I name him later? I don’t want to mess it up.” Virgil’s voice was sheepish and a blush rose to his cheeks despite the self deprecating words that left his mouth.

The spider legs had disappeared into Virgil’s back once again, and Orpheus was no longer shaking, so he felt safe enough to walk back over and place a hand on Virgil’s shoulder.

“Of course it’s okay, take your time with him. How about you go upstairs to your room, I already have some things in there to start you off with your new pet. I’ll bring you some books on spider-care. Does that sound good?” Orpheus prayed that the wave of his hand was enough to place the items in Virgil’s room that he said would be there. After all, it’s all part of a new game - cover his tracks and try to figure out Virgil’s powers before he does.

 _Fuck_ , Orpheus allowed himself to think as he watched Virgil go up the stairs. _What the hell am I going to do now?_

“Maybe you should use the spider as a vessel to spy on him.” Remus stated, suddenly behind Orpheus. Orpheus instinctively jumped and shot a hand out to hit Remus, which the green side caught with his own.

“Give me a warning next time, imp.” Orpheus groaned, intending to sound cold and threatening, but the nickname melted into warm sweetness as Remus began to suck on his fingers.

“Sure. Warning! I’m hazardous material.” Remus played up his voice to joke with Orpheus, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of the broken glass and blood on the floor.

Remus couldn’t stop himself from falling onto his knees and immediately bowing to kiss at his lover’s feet with his hips in the air and his hands reaching for shards of glass that stuck out on the sides. Orpheus winced at the pain. While he was able to put the pain aside when he was trying to assert dominance, Remus’s delicacy made it impossible and amplified it tenfold.

“I’m sure my master of disguise wouldn’t have a problem with a little bit of spying on the poor side.” Remus pressed kisses to the scales that shimmered as they presented themselves. Remus quickly shoved all the glass pieces that were in his hand into his mouth before he went to caress his lover’s scales.

“W-what?” Orpheus’s eyes widened and bulged as he looked down at Remus. _How did he know?_

“I’m not as ditzy as I pretend to be. I know everybody’s functions. I’m the honest side of creativity while Roman is the sell-out. Patton is morality and emotions. Logan is intellect and rationalization. Virgil is anxiety and instinct. And you, _Deceit_ , are self preservation and deception.” Remus’s gray eyes stared up at Orpheus through thick, curled lashes.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Remus. This is not the time to play games with me. I need to focus on Virgil.” Orpheus stepped to walk away, but Remus grabbed his ankle. Normally, Orpheus would’ve kicked at Remus or smacked him, but he was genuinely interested in what he wanted to say.

“Personally, I think you are inarguably the most important side. You protect Thomas - you protect _me._ I know you hold everybody’s secrets, and every ‘bad’ thing you do is because you know it’s what you need to do. Posses and vessel the spider, master; there’s nothing wrong with doing what you need to do to make your educated decisions.” The praise and absolute worship was definitely stretched, but none of it was a lie.

Remus absolutely adored Orpheus, but he adored being the favorite even more. He _needed_ to be the favorite. Roman was the “better” creativity, the creativity that Thomas knew and loved. The only thing that made him as sick as when Roman left him was hearing Virgil call out the light sides’ names when he slept.

Remus sobbed and pulled out his small intestines when he walked into Virgil’s room, hearing him moan out praise and pet names, only to open the door and see Virgil touching himself in his sleep and hearing him call out _Roman’s_ name. And then Logan’s, and then Patton’s - but it was _Roman_ that hurt the most.

So, _fine_ , Virgil didn’t love him or Orpheus anymore. So what? Tickle him purple, once he got Orpheus to understand that _he_ was all that he needed and then Virgil could leave the picture and _he_ could get all of the attention, Remus knew he would do whatever he needed to. Serves Virgil right for trying to get rid of him.

Orphus stared at Remus in awe, but threw his hands up in defeat. “Very well.” Orpheus then rolled his eyes back, temporarily possessing the spider he created to watch Virgil.

Virgil gazed outside, mesmerized once again by french doors and a beckoning balcony. He listened to the playful argument between the emotional and lighter creative side. Their argument was on what names were the best.

Roman offered out strong Spanish-oriented names like Alejandro, Valentino, Rosabella, and Alessandra, while Patton offered names with meaning like Maru, Kibou, Amora, Esme, Logan, and Roman.

Virgil chuckled alongside the main sides at Patton’s mention of the others’ names even if they couldn’t hear it. Logan went on a full explanation of what the names meant, and suddenly it hit him.

Virgil saw the light sides as his own personal version of hope. Hope for something new. Hope for a better life. Hope for freedom. Hope for acceptance. Hope for love.

Virgil looked down at the spider. “You will be Kibou. And when I finally get to the light side, you’ll always be with me to remind myself where I came from and how far I got.” Virgil lifted his cupped hands in order to give the animal a kiss - a promise.

When Orpheus’s eyes rolled back, he was met with grey eyes of absolute obedience and contentedness.

Spiders and rodents are snake prey, but a rodent can be a spider’s predator if it wants it enough.

And the look in Remus’s eyes was anything to go by, he wants it more than enough.


	8. It’s Easy To Forget How Cold You Get When I’m On Your Warm Chest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after Virgil gets Kibou. Such a shame that change isn’t overnight, but it’s so hard to see past a rose-colored glass when all you see is golden sunshine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s so short! I wanted to post three days in a row since I’m going back to school tomorrow, but wheee here’s a fair amount of fluff for this story. Trust me, still angsty; but what can I say? WARNINGS: Self deprecating thoughts, infliction of emotional abuse, infliction of physical abuse, mild manipulation, and power dynamics.

Virgil woke up on his bed, cuddled up in soft fur blankets and on a warm chest. Another body pressed against his back, one arm tossed loosely over his waist while the other pressed across his back.

Little furry legs tapped across Virgil’s forehead, which finally brought him to open his eyes. Virgil was on Orpheus’s bare chest, scales and all. It wasn’t often that Virgil got to see the snake like this.

Orpheus always seemed so ashamed of his deformity. Scrubbing with fancy abrasives and makeup before he began to force his face to morph into smooth skin. The pretense never stayed long, and his snake eye almost never disappeared unless he was posing as someone or something else.

It was soothing to Virgil to see him in his pure state. No self consciousness, no hiding, no lying. Virgil gently rubbed his cheek against the patch on green scales on Orpheus’s left breast, immersing himself in the current moment as Kibou nested in his hair.

The light scratch of a mustache on his rhomboid minor muscle reminded Virgil of the arm that was on top of him. He shifted until he could see the left side of Remus’s face. Poor side had a spider bite on the side of his face, a yellow pus-filled growth forming on the bottom of his left eye bags.

“Kibou,” Virgil groaned out to his pet, an unabridged smile across his face as he watched Remus suck on the tip of his thumb, “we don’t bite our friends, bad boy.”

Remus’s eyes sleepily fluttered open for a second, catching Virgil’s slightly swollen hazel eyes with dreary gray ones. “You said my name?”

Virgil chuckled in confusion, blushing a bit from the eye contact and the fact that he was caught. “I said Kibou?”

“I meant ‘bad boy’.” Remus smirked, shifting to hold up his upper body with a fist below his ear, never once moving the arm that was touching Orpheus. “You’re really cute when your stomach turns red.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow at the comment, immediately looking down where his black tank top had shifted to expose his hip bones and belly button.  _ Nope _ , Virgil thought,  _ pale as ever - including healing bruises and scars _ . Virgil turned his lips into a frown, thinking about all the ways and reasons he got them.

_ God, Virgil. Why do you have to be like this? You had such a lovely day yesterday. You got Kibou, and you even got to read all of Orpheus’s and Remus’s big science books with spider facts. _

_ Why do you always have to harp on the past? ~~Is it really the past if the bruises haven’t even healed yet?~~ _

_ Nothing can hurt you here. You’re in your warm, safe, comfortable bed and everything else, including whatever happened three seconds ago, is the past. _

_~~It is really the past if you’re still with those who hurt you?~~ Remus said he was sorry for the last time. ~~And what about the time before that?~~ He didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, it’s probably some fun anatomy fact and you haven’t even given him a chance to teach you. _

_ Everything you’re hurt over is some poor choices made in the past. Move on. ~~Is it the past if you know you’re still walking on eggshells and will be screamed at if you break them?~~ _

_ You’re okay right now, Virgil. If that’s not good enough for, nothing is. ~~It’s not really the past if it hurts your present.~~ _

_ So insatiable for someone so undeserving. ~~You deserve to feel safe and mean it when you say “I’m okay.” That’s not a luxury, that’s a necessity. It should be a~~ _ ~~**_guarantee_ ** ~~ _ ~~.~~ _

“When your cheeks blush on the outside,” Remus squealed, seemingly unaware of Virgil’s incessant internal monologue, “Your stomach on the inside also turns red!”

Virgil shook off whatever he was thinking about in favor of giggling at Remus’s weird facts.  _ This is a good moment. No need to ruin it when there’s no reason to. _

“Gross, Remus.” Orpheus’s voice was cold and flat behind Virgil. Remus immediately broke eye contact with Virgil to look up at Orpheus with wide, apologetic eyes.

“But that’s one of the many things I love about you.” Orpheus swung his left hand down from behind his head to graze Remus’s cheek lovingly, but not before Remus and Virgil both flinched at the sharp, sudden movement.

Once Remus relaxed from going rigid, he immediately warmed up into Orpheus’s hand - mustache twinkling with delight and contentedness. Orpheus brought his right hand to rest on Virgil’s jawline, rubbing his thumb across Virgil’s cheek.

Warm exploded underneath Orpheus’s skin. Both of his lovers were at arm’s length, safe, and completely under his control. How could he not be in love with moments like this?

Virgil had stared at Remus as he practically melted under Orpheus’s touch. The sunlight shifted and Remus was in warm golden sunshine once again - signifying the warm Remus held under his new cold exterior.  _ If he loved me that much then, he surely must love me like that now. _

With that, Virgil shifted closer to Orpheus and turned to watch his face. Orpheus was elated, excitement causing a glittering sheen across his skin and scales in the sunlight.

Virgil tried yelling at himself that this was just a tactic to make him feel safe and secure - but goddammit, was it working. Virgil just wanted to be safe and to be loved - it’s so hard to see past a rose-colored glass when all you see is golden sunshine.

It's so easy to forget the cold truth when the lie is just so warm.


	9. It’s Better To Burn Than To Fade Away, It’s Better To Leave Than To Be Replaced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The problem with creating a fantasy is that you don’t know where reality begins. When does it go from warm, golden sun glow to hell? Also, I apparently only write Angst and Hurt/No Comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, HAPPY ONE MONTH ON ‘GLASS HOUSES’! It’s so weird putting creative work out there and it has felt like forever since I forced myself to hit ‘post’ for the first time and right now. Lmao it’s not that serious, but thank you all for the amazing month! TWs: Abusive/Unsympathetic Patton, Abusive/Manipulative/Unsympathetic Deceit, Abusive/Manipulative/Unsympathetic Remus, Hurt/No Comfort, Physical / Mental / Emotional Abuse, Supernatural Powers, Impersonation, Deception, Name-Calling / Insults, Bullying, Unhealthy Power Dynamics, Unsafe / Abusive BDSM, Blood.

“The answer is no and that’s final, Virgil!” Orpheus shouted, making sure the shoulder-check the pleading side as he shoved past him.

“Yes, you’ve already said that,” Virgil turned on his heels with the shove, keeping no further away than a few steps behind the snake, “But you’ve yet to actually tell me why you’re saying no. I just want to know why!”

Virgil barely had time to register that he’d been hit before he crumpled against the wall. Virgil didn’t even whine as the stinging started to irritate his eye or as his cries started building up in his throat.

_ God, why are  _ **_you_ ** _ always like this? _ Virgil thought as he lifted his hand to soothe his cheek. _ It’s a genuine question and I’m just asking for a real answer. _

Virgil looked up at what was  _ supposed  _ to be his scaled lover, but Orpheus wasn’t there. No, it was someone else entirely.

Khaki pants that were a tad bit long so they bunched around running sneakers, and a waistband just an inch too big making the brown leather belt necessary. A bright blue polo shirt tucked neatly into the waistband, and a grey cardigan wrapped delicately over wide shoulders. Soft hands with neat cuticles that drew your eyes up to crossed, hairy arms and toned biceps.

**Patton.**

“Awh, kiddo, what’s the crying for?” Patton cooed cautiously, crouching down to Virgil’s level. “Do you need a minute?”

“N-no, I…” Virgil blinked furiously, wondering how the hell Patton was able to get over here without permission first.  _ Did I leave the balcony door open again,  _ Virgil thought cautiously, scanning around the room,  _ or is this just one of your games? _

“I want Orpheus. No, I  _ need  _ Orpheus.”

“B-but, kiddo,” Patton’s face flashed offense for a second, but he quickly covered it with understanding. “You’re sure you don’t want me instead?”

“I said,” Virgil snapped, hoping his face was cold despite the hot tears, “I want Orpheus.”

“Absolutely insatiable, you fucking brat.” Patton scoffed as he stood up, wringing his hands on the arm of his sweater.

Virgil maintained his stare. He wouldn’t dare back down - this was a test, he could feel it under his skin.

“You call my name when you’re alone in your room at night.” Patton began to pace in front of the skinny side.

“You imagine that it’s my hands caressing you, prepping you, when it’s your own lovers that are taking their time.” Virgil stared intensely, waiting for the tell-tale yellow glow.  _ This isn’t really Patton, it  _ **_can’t_ ** _ be. _

“You must be a moron if you think you can hide your feelings and your secrets from me. Don’t you know who the fuck I am?” Patton’s words were laced with wrath and malice. Virgil had begun to stand up, ready to run the second  _ Patton  _ lunged at him.

That thought made Virgil’s stomach turn and flip and throb. How could  _ Patton _ be the villain? The side who was always so kind and sweet every time Virgil had spied on him, the side who was warm, golden sunshine whenever Virgil needed a break from nauseated, ailment yellow?

“Well?!” Patton caught Virgil’s throat and shoved him against the wall in the time that Virgil was letting his distraught thoughts take over.  _ ~~Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.~~ _

“How did you even get here? Orpheus said we’re unable to cross sides.” Virgil stammered out, trying to smooth his voice the same way he did when it was one of his boyfriends’ hands around his neck.

“Ooh, sorry kiddo. Guess he was just trying to protect you.” Patton chuckled, squeezing harder so Virgil’s legs kicked out in response, releasing only when Virgil’s eyes began to roll back. “Weak sides like you can’t cross without permission from the worthy ones.”

Virgil was almost thankful for the strong hands around his neck because he knew he couldn’t keep his head up if it wasn’t there.

“Do you even know  _ what _ you are?” Patton hissed, finally releasing Virgil enough so that the soft hand was only a resting reminder of what could happen if he messed up his next words. “A monster. You bring Thomas down, you bring all of us down - even those of us on the other side.”

Virgil finally let a whimper out, shaking hands reaching to hold Patton’s wrist in defeat. “Please...Stop.”

“Are you in any spot to be making demands?” Patton recoiled his hand back, releasing Virgil’s neck. Virgil’s weak knees gave out and landed on the ground, and he could hear faint calls for his name.

“Are you?” Virgil growled out, suddenly finding the strength he’d been begging for. Virgil turned his face up to the deceivingly sweet face of Patton. Patton’s jaw dropped for a second, but he immediately closed it again.

“Well, Anxiety, seems you finally grew a spine.” Patton chuckled, crossing his arms once again. Virgil’s eyes widened -  _ Anxiety? _ I mean, he supposes it made sense - the one time Orpheus told him the name of one of his pills was the name of an anxiety suppressant, and he couldn’t pretend that his function  _ must _ have been something emotionally related.

But what he couldn’t believe is that the side that encompassed all emotion, all of  **morality** , would throw it in his face as if he  _ asked _ to be what he was. He also knew that the dad-figure couldn’t have been lying because Patton  despises lying - it’s the reason he banished Orpheus and the other dark sides from crossing ~~Or, at least that’s what Orpheus told him - but now his head was foggy with confusion and he wanted to cry and he wanted to sink out into the subconscious and dissipate until he didn’t have a name or a body anymore.~~

Virgil didn’t have a choice in being ‘Anxiety’, but he did have a choice in being the bad guy. He would  **not** be the bad guy when he didn’t have to be.

“You’re  _ sick. _ ” Virgil spit out, beginning to stand to his full height. Even though Virgil was still looking down on him, he began to realize Patton was not as short as he assumed he would be.

Maybe Patton wasn’t much like Virgil assumed he’d be.

“Virgil, what’s going on?” A voice breathed out from the kitchen doorway. Patton and Virgil both turned to meet Remus’s fearful, tear-filled eyes, ceramic mug spilling a little bit of coffee as his hands trembled.

“Remus, honey, please stay back.” Virgil kept his voice sweet but demanding as he held out a hand towards Patton - unsure of what the emotional side would do.

“No!” Remus yelled out, dropping his mug and rushing towards Patton. “You leave us alone!”

“Awh! How silly!” Patton cooed as he brought delicate hands to his face in mock adoration. Just as fast as the softness came, it left. “If you want to keep your family safe, bucko, I would think you’d be smarter than trying me!”

Patton lifted his hand and Remus fell backwards. Whatever Patton did, Remus was now drooling blood and shaking as he dry-heaved. Virgil’s eyes bulged out of his head and he instinctively did the same action with his own hand - not expecting to throw himself backwards as well.

The anxious side was far too worried about protecting Remus, the same way the creative side had done so many times before he completely lost his mind, that he didn’t notice the purple smoke shoot from his palm or how Patton seized into Orpheus as he smacked into the wall behind him - making the mirror fall off its hook and shatter.

Virgil immediately stood up to grab Patton by his ~~stupid~~ gray cardigan sleeves and punch him so he’d never even think of touching Remus again, and Virgil was so fueled by anger that he  _ almost _ did.

But honey met brown, not blue; and when Virgil’s eyes made their way down to the glass shards, he saw a reptilian reflection and yellow glow.

“What’s your point?” Virgil whispered, grabbing ‘Patton’ by his collar and pulling their faces to be inches apart.

“Anxiety, you hurt Thomas. It would be wrong of me,  _ Morality, _ to just not come teach you a lesson about society and your place within-”

“Orpheus, stop it!” Virgil shook the side as he yelled.

Brown eyes twitched. “Who do you think you’re talking to?”

“Tell me! Enough with the games, Orpheus - if that’s your real fucking name. How do I know that’s not a lie too?”

“Virgil, you’re acting crazy.”

“No,  **you’re** crazy!” Virgil let go and walked backwards a bit, shaking his head. “I wouldn’t be surprised if your function was just lies.”

“Deception and self-preservation, actually. I’m actually called ‘Deceit’.” Orpheus rolled his eyes at his own honesty.

“R-really?”

“And you’re just some stupid ass inability to handle the real world. Also known as: Anxiety.” It didn’t  _ truly _ shock Virgil, but also:  _ yes, it did. _

“I hate to hurt you, but you know I’d never do it without purpose.” Orpheus, no,  _ Deceit _ cooed out as he began to stand up and shed his Patton skin, leaving a gross pile of clothes and tan flesh on the ground, “It’s for your own good! You need to know how dangerous other people can be.”

“You don’t have the right!” Virgil lunged forward, ready to claw at the scales until green scales couldn’t be seen under red blood.

“You gave me the right to do whatever I wanted with you the second you agreed you’d be mine.” Deceit growled out as he caught Virgil’s hands, still engaging in futile attempts to pummel at the reptile in front of him.

“To be  _ ours _ .” Remus mumbled under his breath, still on the floor from his mock-fight. Virgil stopped momentarily, turning to face Remus in shock. ~~_Remus, did you know? Was this your doing, too?_~~

“Oh,  _ please,  _ Virgil,” Remus rolled his eyes as he shifted to a proper cross-legged sitting position. “Don’t act all high and mighty. You think you’re some precious, innocent angel but you’re not. You call me ‘sick’ and ‘disgusting’ as if you’re not a monster like us.”

Virgil began to sputter in shock in a poor attempt at defending himself, but his own hand released and covered his own mouth against his will while the other remained captive on Orpheus’s chest.

“He’s right. Reality is, you  **are** the bad guy and you’ll  **never** not be. You  **enjoy** what we do to you and then you cry and cry and  _ cry. _ ” Orpheus sounded bored behind Virgil, right hand caught in a fist as he controlled Virgil’s own. “Tell me  _ again _ why you wanted to see your  _ lucid Logan _ or  _ precious Patton _ or  _ romantic Roman _ . So  **easy** to forget what you have when you’re chasing what you want.”

As soon as his hand released from his mouth, Virgil whimpered.

“I want to prove myself. Please... _ nothing more. _ ”

Orpheus could taste the lie - though the flavor indicated that he believed it too.  _ A lie is a lie,  _ Orpheus thought triumphantly,  _ but I’ll let this one simmer _ .

“I think he should start causing a ruckus now!” Remus called out from his spot on the floor. “Let him get a running start on this new ‘proving himself’!”

“Quiet!” Orpheus called out, and Remus smacked both of his hands over his lips without Orpheus even needing to bring up a hand. “Neither of you were given permission to speak yet.”

“You paint the scene,” Virgil started, waiting for Orpheus to turn back to him.

Orpheus shot daggers at him for speaking without being spoken to,  _ especially _ right after a warning, but he kept his lips sealed tight.

“I’ll sew all the pieces together. Your dreams are my reality.” Virgil genuinely tried not to sound defeated in his statement, but he simply couldn’t.

“Go up to the bedroom, treasure. We’ll discuss more there.” It almost sounded innocent, but Virgil knew that he wasn’t going to leave the bedroom without more scars ~~and more suicidal thoughts~~. He simply turned and trudged up the stairs.

“And what do we say to Orpheus?” Remus asked, still not having felt the need to change his position.

“Thank you.” Virgil answered solemnly.

“Thank you,  _ master. _ ”

“Thank you, master. Thank you, sire. I’ll be better next time.”

When Virgil passed the balcony again, he saw Patton setting something up near their french doors. ~~Warm sun glow reduced to nausea yellow.~~

The balcony didn’t have the same alluring aura to it anymore and seeing Patton so soon made Virgil flinch, but the  _ real _ light side turned around and gave his million dollar smile. Virgil tightened his lips and tried to walk away, but Patton walked out of the french doors.

“Virgil, wait!”  _ Oh.  _ His voice sounded nothing like how Orpheus portrayed him. Virgil opened his doors, but didn’t step out onto his balcony. His safe space no longer felt safe or “his” anymore.

“I know you don’t know me, but I see you with fabric all the time and a sketchbook so I thought that you’re super creative and that you use clothing as an art form and I don’t know much and I probably messed it up but-” Patton rambled until Virgil held up his hand.

Patton reached behind himself and tossed over a black hoodie with a dark gray plaid pattern. Virgil caught it, feeling the soft faux fur on the inside. His hands played with it before he put it on, immediately feeling the warmth he usually only felt while looking at Patton’s smile; which, coincidentally, appeared once he saw Virgil put it on.

“The door is unlocked, kiddo. Whenever you’re ready, we are too.” Patton promised as he sauntered back inside.

He still couldn’t trust Patton, even though it’s not his fault. “Kiddo” made his skin crawl.

But a promise is a promise and Patton doesn’t like lying and Virgil couldn’t help but wonder how Patton would feel if he brought Kibou too.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I swear to GOD it wasn’t supposed to be this much angst and hurt/no comfort but BRO this story has run off on its own tangent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did I go from posting 9 times within the first month to posting the tenth chapter on the day before the two month anniversary? Sorry for the wait and sorry it’s so jagged and short, I know I don’t have an excuse because of this whole COVID-19 break, but I’ve been working basically 11am to 10pm everyday since school closed and I’m still trying to keep up with my classes, so this kinda got put on the back burner. But that’s okay! This story is still going and will be FAR from abandoned, as far as I’m concerned.  
> TWs: Body horror, blood, rape mention, trauma, major character death, vivid descriptions of character death, hurt / no comfort, angst, mind control, mind rape, blades, potions, abusive relationships and unhealthy power dynamics (duh), toxic and abusive display of BDSM (if you squint), abuse of the mentally ill, mind altering substances, medications used abusively and incorrectly, powers, conspiracy

The plan was in order.

Virgil was to sit outside on the balcony, reading a book on failures of medical accuracy in modern media, and wait.

Was the book something he was interested in? ~~Kind of.~~ Absolutely not, it was to draw out the other sides.

Roman would be enticed by the interest in pop culture and want to spark a debate, Logan would be interested in the clinical conversation, and Patton would be simply drawn to a pale, skinny kid who is outside all alone.

The plan made Virgil’s stomach turn, but he wasn’t sure if it was about hurting the light sides or seeing Patton again. It was stupid, Virgil knew it wasn’t _really_ Patton, but something inside of himself triggered his heart rate up again. What was **_wrong_** with him?

The eye shadow under his eyes felt foreign, and he could swear that Remus’s old brush must’ve scratched him - but it’s what Orpheus said to do. It was about “making sure they don’t get any ideas about taking their precious Virgil away”, but Virgil would say that it was really about making sure they detached themselves from him, recognizing him as a ‘dark side’.

What made Orpheus change his mind, Virgil wouldn’t know. Honestly, maybe it was because Virgil was having doubts about his light fantasy.

Seeing Patton made him seethe at the recent memory.  _ What if Orpheus really knows him, the real him? Not the fantasy where he is soft and loving and loves to cook and makes the sweetest cookies? _

Seeing Roman made him feel guilty.  _ That cruel joke with the dove painted every reason as to his cruelty. Maybe Roman is what is deserved of lowly ‘Anxiety’. _

Seeing Logan made him fearful.  _ Logan is so put-together and rational, all logic goes out the window when anxiety comes in. How could Logan even pretend to care or love some idiotic ‘dark’ side? _

Orpheus was also told to never tell the others his name. He was to only disclose himself as ‘Anxiety.’ Orpheus, if he was asked, was to be called ‘Deceit’. The others wouldn’t ask about Remus, they know better.

It didn’t matter how uncomfortable the new titles made Virgil feel, or the fact that it was all so new to him - it was what ~~Orpheus~~ _ Deceit _ told him to do. How could he ever disobey?

“Kiddo?” A soft voice called out.

“Morality.” Virgil replied, looking up to meet Patton’s gaze. Calling him by his title was weird, Virgil just wanted to cry out to Patton to get Roman and save him, but O-  _ Deceit _ told him what he needed to do; which included never referring to the light sides by their name unless he was given explicit permission by them to.

Patton gave a tight-lipped smile, his only defense from a frown. He looked over Virgil’s appearance. Black eye shadow under slightly twitching eyes, the sweater Patton had gifted him, black finger-less gloves with bony fingers peering out, and a book.

Maybe he could convince Virgil to come over to their side and talk about it with Logan? Logan loves to read, Roman loves to talk, and there was a chess pie and sugar cookies in the oven that Patton could feed him.

“I don’t mean to interrupt, but it’s cold out here. Maybe you should come inside? Warm up?” Patton’s voice was hopeful, airy, and  _ perfect _ . Virgil wanted to pinch himself for swooning over the light side so quickly, but the plan was working.

“What happened to stranger danger?” Virgil smirked, tucking his book under his arm.

“Well, my name is Patton, and I’m Morality. See, I’m not a stranger anymore!” Patton giggled, excited that he was warming up to the cold emo. “What’s yours?”

“I’m Anxiety.” Virgil quipped, hoping Patton wouldn’t prod any deeper. Did Patton really not know his name, or was he giving him a choice? Virgil felt as though he had always known their names, and never remembered a moment where he was actually learning the information. He just...knew.

“Well, if you’re interested, why don’t you come over? The three of us would love to spend time with you.” Patton had bit his lip to try and contain his ecstatic nature, and Virgil smirked at the gesture.

“This is all a part of the plan, Anxiety. Don’t get ahead of yourself, make any rash decisions. You wouldn’t disobey me, would you, lover?” Deceit cooed in Virgil’s ear. Virgil knew he wasn’t actually there but he swore he could feel scales rubbing on the side on his neck and tantalizing breath on the collar bone. He was right - a plan was in place. If Virgil wasn’t methodical and calculating like Deceit, he would be a failure and truly belong nowhere.

Virgil peered over the balcony and looked down. “How?”

Down, in between the balconies, was a field of robinettas and gardenia brighamii. Though beautiful (the two flowers forming after Thomas’s own boyfriend, Robin, and his favorite flower), any side who tried to jump over without permission would fall down into the brush, and the vines would trap them and tear them apart.

Virgil remembers when... _ he who shall not be named _ ...tried crossing, and that’s why there’s 6 sides instead of 7. Virgil had run to the balcony, he tried reaching out to stop him but he was  **too late** and he  **froze** and he watched and he listened to the screams while everyone else turned away and distracted themselves. Well, besides Remus, but he wasn’t distraught - no, Remus was entranced. If Virgil didn’t know better, he would assume Remus either pushed **him** to the point of jumping or physically pushed **him** off. ~~But now wasn’t the time to think about that, now, was it?~~

“Well, I’m giving you permission, aren’t I?” Patton tried distracting Virgil, who was kicking himself for letting the emotion show. “Here, let me give you something.”

Patton whisked his arm out, gold and light blue shimmer flushing out and growing into a makeshift bridge. Virgil stared at it in awe as it solidified into stone. What if this is just like the dove and it will fall apart underneath him? He’s asking too much of the light sides. Yes, this is part of the plan, but it was all feeling so  _ wrong _ and he couldn’t go through with it - not when the bridge was going to sense Virgil’s improper entry and it would let him fall right into the bushes right on top of  **his** body and Deceit and Remus would know he failed and they would have to start all over again and -

“Kiddo? Whatcha waiting for?” Patton asked earnestly. Virgil nodded and stepped up. The bridge was as strong as any real one. Virgil squinted his eyes and quickly walked across, praying that he would fall faster than his brain could process and that the vines would pull him apart quicker rather than slower.

Patton held out a hand to help Virgil down, who made it across safely. Only then did it hit Virgil of how cold it really was outside, when his icy hands met Patton’s warm ones.

“The others are in their personal spaces right now. Logan’s in his laboratory and Roman should be coming from the imagination soon. You want to come into the kitchen with me?” Patton asked as they started walking into the house together. It wasn’t glamorous, but it wasn’t falling apart. It was different from the dark sides’ place, but it felt like a  _ home _ . It felt so right but so  _ not _ , at the same time. This was a place of belonging - and Virgil was only here to _fuck that shit_ _**up** _ .

“Is the kitchen  _ your _ space?” Virgil asked, staring Patton up and down.

The ever vague sway of his hips, his obviously strong arms and thighs, his tall but not dominating stature (which is unlike how Virgil had been picturing him - Patton was still relatively tall at 5’8, he just wasn’t like Virgil at 6’3), his warm smile, his splay of freckles that went down to his neck, the way his hair was slightly curlier and blonder than any other sides’. If Virgil’s skin wasn’t crawling, he would’ve sworn he was falling in love.

“I guess you could say that.” Patton’s pink smile was warm and elated as he heard the Imagination open and close, signaling Roman’s entrance. Patton turned to Virgil as he opened the door to the kitchen with his hip. “Got a sweet tooth?”

_**~** _

Remus was fresh out the shower for the first time in a few days. Orpheus had gone off about how “trash cans like him should smell like one” and how they needed to save water anyways for Virgil because he was going to the light side soon.

While trash was his brand, Remus did love his expensive pinewood and honey soaps. The ever faint silver and green shimmer left across his scars plus the smell calmed his thoughts and he was at peace.

“Remus, darling.” Orpheus called from outside the door as Remus finished shaping up his mustache. Remus’s eyes went wide. His hair was still on the counter and the shower curtain was still open. He couldn’t open the door when the bathroom wasn’t neat - he’d been hit enough to drive the point home.

Remus quickly snapped everything away except for the green towel around his waist, opening the door in extreme flourish. “Yes, my love?”

“Surprised you didn’t leave everything dirty like yourself.” Orpheus commented, looking Remus up and down.

“I’m clean! Smell me.” Remus scoffed, holding his arms out for his boyfriend. The comment was annoying and slightly hurtful, but the way Orpheus pulled Remus to him by his waist and cradled him made it easy to forgive anything he could say.

“You were ready to walk out in just your towel? Like a whore?” Orpheus’s hands on his waist gripped tighter, reminding Remus of who he was.

So, maybe, it was _almost_ anything.

“Well,” Remus started, hoping his voice was level, “I’m... _ your _ whore?”

“A whore, nonetheless.” Orpheus dug his nails into the skin, drawing out small traces of blood. “You want everyone to see you? Even your brother? Absolutely disgusting.” Orpheus shoved Remus away from him, making the artist fall on his back and his towel untie. Remus’s head smacked on the linoleum flooring, making his vision blurry for a second.

“Wait!” Remus called out, immediately reaching for his boyfriend as he immediately sat up, vision and pain be damned. Remus brought himself to his knees, still reaching for Orpheus, and quickly placed the towel in order to cover himself. “Please.”

“Please what?” Orpheus kicked Remus’s hand away, allowing Remus to gather the towel more to cover himself. “Such a pity we wasted water and medicine on you.”

“Let’s just go to our room.” Remus was defeated. There was nothing he could do. He kept his head down and his eyes shut, the only indication of anything was the sound of a snap and sudden soft carpet underneath himself.

“Lay down.” Orpheus commanded, twiddling with a few items on a nearby desk. Remus opened his eyes and got up to move towards the bed, subtly sucking in a breath to hold.

“I said lay down, not get on the bed.” Orpheus stopped moving, watching Remus freeze for a second. “Why can’t you ever follow directions? Virgil can. Logan and Patton can. Your brother can. Why do you insist on being difficult?”

Remus held his breath as he got back on the floor.  _ Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.  _ Orpheus walked over next to Remus said, holding what was in his hands out of view. Remus stared up at him while Orpheus took his foot and stepped on Remus’s sternum. Remus’s breath shot out and it came out as a deep wheeze.

“Oh, honey, did that hurt?” Orpheus cooed as Remus tried grabbing his boot to alleviate the pressure. “Good.” Orpheus kicked Remus’s hand away again with his other foot and pressed down harder.

“Please, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t listen. I’m sorry for being bad, I know I was being bad.” Remus’s pleads came out in short, jagged gasps. Orpheus kneeled to add that final pressure to the hurt side, only moving his foot when he sat criss-crossed - his knees of Remus’s shoulders. Remus’s head on between his thighs, and both his feet on Remus’s chest.

“We both know you were bad,” Orpheus, whispered, letting false adoration slip into his voice as he played with curly brown locks, “But if you know, why do you continue to be an absolute pain?” Orpheus’s other hand came around to grab Remus by the neck after dropping the items he was holding onto the carpet behind his back.

“I already said sorry.” Remus grumbled to himself, forgetting Orpheus could hear him. His green eyes went wide as he looked up into two glowing yellow eyes. “What do you want me to do?”

“It’s cute when you try to backtrack. Always gets me riled up, ready to protect you.” Orpheus lied, though he knew he didn’t need to.

Remus was far too dependent on him to do anything like leave him, try to make amends with his brother, or anything silly like that. Lying was just a part of the chains that bound Remus mentally immobile without his permission.

Orpheus released his neck and grabbed a bottle from behind him. Orpheus watched Remus as he uncapped the bottle, seeing the fear and need writhe underneath his skin as he placed the spout of the bottle against Remus’s pink lips. “Drink.”

Remus obediently opened his mouth to accept it, slightly choking when Orpheus poured all of the contents into his mouth at once; but he watched Orpheus’s eyes as he did so, which was fantastic for Orpheus’s ego.

“You love me, Remus. Don’t you?” Orpheus asked, knowing the answer.

“Yes. More than anything.” Remus whispered, pleading even when he didn’t mean to.

“Oh?” Orpheus prodded, much to Remus’s confusion, “And that’s your reality?”

Remus furrowed his brows in confusion, darting his eyes around the room. “What?”

“Do you even know what reality is anymore, Remus? You spend so much time in that creative little head of yours, wouldn’t be shocked if all of this was fake.” Orpheus sounded bored as he rubbed the sides of Remus’s temples, coaxing the green, tear-filled eyes to meet his stare once again. “Maybe you’re stuck in your own head. Or trapped in your part of the Imagination, ever falling down...down...down. Maybe you’re in the vines with  **him** .”

Remus shook his head, suddenly unable to speak.  _ No, no, no! That was...forever ago! Wasn’t it? _

“Maybe you were too entranced watching his body pummel into the thorns or maybe it was the blood or the fact _you_ caused it-” Orpheus would’ve commented on the sweat on Remus’s red-flushed skin, but he was having too much fun with his game.

“ _I didn’t!_ I didn’t push  **him** or make  **him** fall! I tried stopping  **him** from running.  **He** was going to get hurt! And  **_he_ ** _ did! _ Just like you said we would if we ever tried!” Remus croaked out, too overwhelmed by the memory replaying over and over again in double speed across his vision to even notice the pounding in his chest or even bear to say the name.

“Oh, you didn’t?” Orpheus bit his lip, enjoying the heat radiating off of Remus’s trembling body.

_ Maybe they should do this more often _ , Orpheus smirked while letting his thoughts wander from the scene around him,  _ since Remus isn’t going to put up any defenses _ . “You’re sure about that?”

“Yes!” Remus cried out, bringing his hands up to try and scratch his eyes out of his head. “I was good, I did exactly as you said. I didn't do anything wrong. I did everything right. _I was a good boy!_ ”

Remus never understood what  **he** was running from -  **he** was always the favorite over him and Virgil, why was  **he** trying to get away from Orpheus? Was  **he** trying to get away from Remus?

Orpheus pinned Remus’s hands to his own chest, which barely sated the constantly writhing and fidgeting of the appendage.

Orpheus knew he was projecting images of falling down, being ripped apart, but instead of  **him** , Remus saw it in first person.

Instead of Virgil crying out  **his** name, trying to get Orpheus’s attention to save the little sinner, the  _ traitor _ , it was Virgil calling out for Remus instead.

Orpheus figured Remus would be getting used to the terrible scene, so he decided to switch it up. Replay every memorable moment since that fateful day, sick or romantic, and replay it again with altered versions of those memories.

Did Remus need more coaxing or the reminder? Absolutely not. But it was so much entertainment to see royalty reduced to just a plaything, sobbing and writhing and  _ needy _ .

Remus cried out when the memory of their more recent endeavors replayed.

Orpheus knew it was that beautiful, green olfa that Virgil had gifted him for Remus’s more physical artworks. The one Orpheus convinced him subconsciously to make Virgil bleed over and over and over again.  _ That _ was a harsh reality to face, considering Remus wasn’t fully conscious when he did it.

Such a shame green and purple paired so well together, such a shame Orpheus needed to tear them apart for the greater of the mindscape.

Orpheus unhooked his legs from around Remus when he went idle and let go off the wryly hands. Remus looked like a shell, like there were no more conscious thoughts in his mind anymore. Just constant brain static of such horrible imagery.

When Orpheus stood up, he grabbed that same green olfa which he hid behind him and tossed it onto Remus’s torso. He then snapped the two of them into Virgil’s room, placing Remus on the bed. The reddened green eyes lazily watched Orpheus, waiting for something of... _ anything _ , really. Remus didn’t even know what he was watching for.

“Feel all fucked out, don’t you, baby? Hm?” Orpheus kept his voice gentle and alluring, pretending as though he had nothing to do with the horror show that had just occurred, and that it as nothing more than Remus’s mind running freely during sex.

“Yes, Orpheus.” Remus replied obediently, needing water but everything feeling too heavy to even recognize that he craved it.

“Deceit.” Orpheus corrected. If he expected Virgil to keep it up, it was better to ask the same of his obedient Remus.

“Yes, Deceit.” Remus echoed, breath hitching as his eyes fell onto the green olfa.

“What are you on about? Scared of a little knife your  _ Scare Bear _ got you?” Orpheus spat on the nickname Remus coined for Virgil god knows how many years ago.

“U-uh...I-...no, sir. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Remus stammered, too scared to even curl into himself with the weapon near him.

“I’ll be in my room. You and Anxiety are not to come in.” Orpheus stated flatly as he stood up.

“Goodnight. I love you.” Remus whimpered, clearly wanting more contact and affection but knowing he wasn’t allowed to ask for it.

Orpheus didn’t bother replying before he walked out.

Remus broke into more broken sobs, feeling the olfa graze his chest as it jumped.

He quickly made a reach for it, sitting up to turn on Virgil’s light before turning towards the mirror.

“I am here. I am safe. I am okay. No one can hurt me....” Remus whispered, trying to make the room around him melt away if it was pretense. “...Except for me.”

Remus cut underneath his eyes. Small incisions, truly, but enough that he would feel the tears every time he blinked. It wasn’t enough, and the red made him angry all over again. On the other side, where Virgil is right now  ~~_ Isn’t he? How could Remus even know anymore? _ ~~ , there was Roman. In all his perfect glory, being the best at everything, probably stealing his precious Scare Bear little by little.

Virgil deserves Roman. Virgil deserves the world. Virgil deserves  _ so. Much. More.  _ Virgil shouldn’t wake up in Remus’s arms and cold bedrooms; he should wake up in warm sunlight and golden smiles. Virgil was never going to get that  _ here. _

_ Here. _

_ Here! _

Remus dug the blade of the olfa across his chest, planting himself into reality. “HERE” in bold, jagged, bleeding letters splayed across his torso, grounding Remus into reality. Stupid fool was still in his towel, still naked besides it, and now needed to take it off his hips to stop the blood from getting into Virgil’s floor.

_ Was there ever blood in Virgil’s floor? Or was that my Imagination? _ Remus thought as he winced in pain against the towel, thanking that Virgil’s bedroom window was sealed up.  _ Did we take our meds today? Do I need to take more meds? What am I doing wrong that I’m only getting worse and I’m never getting better? _

Remus wrapped the towel amongst himself once again, but let himself curl onto Virgil’s bed, holding the olfa against his pulse point. Any sudden startling and Remus could be dead within seconds.

Maybe that was the point.


	11. Prove To Me You Still Love Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus and Virgil make love after his night with the light sides  
> Maybe it's Stockholm Syndrome, maybe he still loves him  
> Who the fuck knows?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to apologize for  
> 1) not posting in a month  
> 2) posting this monstrosity on Thomas's 31st birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY THOMAS!!!)  
> 3) this being short  
> But some fun updates: I got a job but work 13 hours a day, every day. I started a new series (which got more attention than this story recently)! I got into my dream college (Ithaca) and dream program (MLK Scholar) and ya girl is thriving  
> Sorry this got put on the back burner, but hopefully I won't wait a whole month to post the next chapter!

Virgil made his way back from the light sides’s territory. He got too comfortable, starting thinking that all of  _ that _ could be home, even going as far as going back and forth with Roman.

How could he be so  _ stupid? _ That’s not his place. None of the light sides seemed to take it personally, all seeming to immediately forget about it when Patton turned on Cinderella to distract Roman.

He needs to be more careful next time. He can’t get too comfortable or the plan might fall apart or worse, the others will realize he’s fallen in love.

There was just something about the way Logan hid his endearing smiles by pretending to fix his glasses or the sway of Patton’s hips as he danced to the vinyl player while preparing dinner or how Roman’s dramatic flair made him safe rather than scared.

Talking about scared,

Virgil was in his door frame, hand still on the light switch, staring at a naked Remus holding that green blade Virgil remembers vividly.

“Uhm...Reme?” Virgil choked out, trying not to be so loud as to alert ~~Orpheus~~ Deceit nor scare Remus into stabbing his neck. Virgil knew he couldn’t stand the sight of blood right now.

Remus blinked a few times, re-immersing himself into his surroundings before suddenly sitting up straight at attention.

Remus’s sudden movement made Virgil flinch, but it also gave him a moment to see the still-healing scar across the creative sides’ chest, even though Remus was reaching for the towel that had fallen off to cover himself.

“Here?”

“I-” Remus started, mouth opening and closing as he looked for the best way to answer Virgil. Logistically, he knew that there was no reason to be afraid. Virgil wasn’t ~~Orpheus~~ Deceit. Virgil wasn’t going to hit him. ~~Right?~~ Before the day’s events, Remus had never feared Virgil. ~~Didn’t he? Or did he? How could he even tell anymore?~~ There was no reason to start now ( ~~or, at least, not continue to in this moment.~~ )

“I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me,” Virgil made his way closer to Remus, slowly as to not scare the embodiment of intrusive thoughts, as paradoxical as that sounded, “But if you can’t right now, I can sit here with you.”

“Here.” Remus finally answered.

“What?” Virgil was now even further confused and still had no answers.

“You don’t deserve to be here, Virgil.” Remus turned to his black clad boyfriend. “You deserve so much better than what’s here.”

“And what is  _ here _ ?” Not that Virgil didn’t understand what Remus was saying, but he wanted to make sure they were on the same page.

“I was having these terrible, terrible, awful thoughts. I’m still not sure what is real or what is my imagination but I feel like someone bashed my head with a morningstar and took out my brains with a hot poker and shoved it into one of those stupid ass single serving blenders and pulsed it in all its glory and-”

“-Remus.”

“Sorry.” Remus started tapping his own nails against one another to refocus his mind. Despite his mind trying to focus in on his fingers, he couldn’t help but notice the way Virgil subconsciously shifted his gaze to the green olfa and how his shoulders clenched every time he did so. “So that one was real.”

“Remus, I can’t help you if you don’t explain what is happening-”

“-My brain had some funny thoughts today. It felt like I was a prisoner in some sick delusion, and I don’t know what was worse: being the one who was hurt or the one who was hurting you. There’s so much time missing from me, and these terrible thoughts filled in the blank space of what happened. I know it’s not all true, but I can tell that a few things were by the way you’re acting now.”

Virgil placed one hand on Remus’s knee as the other came up to graze his lover’s cheek.

“You deserve better than me. You deserve better than what’s  _ here _ . I’m awful and I deserve to be in this horrid, disgusting, little pen of darkness. You don’t. You deserve sunlight and happiness and you don’t do anything wrong and I  _ want _ to hate you, I do, but I don’t because I can’t and because I love you and I don’t say it enough. I don’t say it at  _ all _ and I know better and-”

Remus’s tangent was cut short by a sweet, soft kiss. Remus tried his best to hold his breath to keep down the whimper, but it came out anyways.

Virgil immediately stepped backwards and kept his distance from Remus. “I’m sorry, I should’ve asked first.”

“Come here.” Remus whined, making grabby hands for Virgil, who took his invitation with stride. Virgil knew he should do something, like lie and say that  _ here _ with Remus is where he wanted to be, but Remus would see straight through the lie and who knows how he would react. The only comfort Virgil could offer was his body.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Lord knows I already have.” Remus mumbled against Virgil’s lips.

Instead of answering, Virgil pushed Remus back onto the bed so his head rested on the pillows. Virgil let himself drape over Remus, who slowly unzipped and removed Virgil’s sweater as the anxious side started to turn the kiss to be passionate and desire-filled.

“I usually take it without question,” Remus pushed Virgil’s chest back so he could catch his breath, “but I need words that this is what you want. Not because you want to comfort me or because you don’t want to wake up Deceit. I only want this if you truly want this.”

“Remus, I want this. All of this. Do you?” Virgil asked, placing slow but heavy kisses down Remus’s neck.

“Yes, but don’t be as rough as normal.” Remus felt a punch in his gut for asking such a request. “Well, you can, but not as quickly as we normally would.”

“Your wish is my command, sire.” Virgil gave a playful nip, earning a delighted half-giggle, half-moan from his pliant boyfriend.

Virgil made his way down Remus’s chest until his lips brushed the new scar. “Wait, I have an idea.”

Virgil immediately ran out to his closet to grab scar cream and antiseptic out of his first aid kit. He held it up to Remus before getting to work on his boyfriend’s chest.

“This is the weirdest foreplay we’ve ever done,” Remus rolled his eyes, trying to not get turned on as Virgil accidentally brushed his nipple as he was working on the laceration, “And that’s saying something.”

“I know it is, OctoPup.” Virgil scrunched his face, still not fancying the sight of blood. “Can I ask you something? T-totally cool to say no, though!”

“When do I ever?” Remus stared at Virgil expectantly.

“Well...the scar cream would probably work best if you had a shirt on. It might be a little awkward if we’re going to have-” Virgil was cut off from his explanation when Remus snapped a black tank top onto himself.

“Can I wear your hoodie?” Remus sat up so he could kiss Virgil’s nose as he asked.

Virgil chuckled and kissed Remus properly, grabbing his sweater from behind him and bringing it around Remus. “Of course, your highness.”

Their kiss turned passionate, Remus allowed Virgil to push him down and trace over every expanse of body his lithe fingers desired.

They were probably supposed to regret staying up the extra hour or so, knowing they’d be groggy when cooking breakfast for their ~~master~~ other boyfriend, and possibly because Virgil’s mind became fuzzy when it came to details of the night with the light sides - all he could think about how pliant and  _ sweet _ Remus was when they made love instead of just fucked for the first time in what felt like forever.

How Remus’s lips spilled over with praise and promises to be better.

How when either of them needed to stop, they stopped - not being egged on to continue hurting each other by anybody else - they only cared about feeling  _ loved _ and  _ safe _ and  _ happy _ and  _ why does it feel like a treat to feel this way when this should be the baseline of all relationships? _

How after they cleaned up, Remus put in Virgil’s underwear and sweatpants, and then snuggled up with his anxious boyfriend, how Virgil could only feel the possessiveness that comes with the need to protect the ones you love (and the ever so quiet voice in his mind that Remus was hurting just as he was - he had just been too selfish to see that)

How when he looked down at Remus’s sleeping face, soft with the pale moonlight dancing across it, shining bright on how Remus looked like he hadn’t had proper rest in days and probably hadn’t eaten more than the pills for longer, all Virgil could do was stare like he was trying to etch the memory of  _ his _ Remus into his brain.

How Virgil knew that his chances of getting this again were numbered.

How he held Remus, shielding him from the inevitable monster that was in the other room, hoping that if he held him tight enough,  _ this _ Remus wouldn’t disappear.

How if he held him tight enough, maybe he could put his Remus back together.

How if he focused on the occasionally hitching breaths, he could pretend it was Remus and not himself crying as he knew they were both lost and trapped and scared.

How maybe the monster wasn’t in the other room, but was rather the flecks of yellow Virgil keeps seeing in the corner of his eye.

How he wants things to be better... _ for him _


	12. Update time!!!

Hey everybody! Just wanted to give an update and say that this story is NOT abandoned.  
If any of you guys keep up with the notes in my other works, you might see bits and pieces of some of the chaos that is my life right now lmao - but an update shall be posted soon!  
I wrote the next chapter but I was thinking I might write the one after that too so I can post them both at the same time ~ though that’s still up in the air.  
Thank you all so much for your patience and support, and we’ll be seeing you soon😘  
~fairyplumprincess (formerly: ChessCabrera)


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